andy: it really depends on how well your audience understands a parlimentary system.
amy: your mom explained the parliamentary system to me last night.
andy: she likes to dissolve parliament from time to time ...
amy: I used to have this roommate...late at night, sometimes I could hear "ORDER IN THE COURT" and "IF I MAY PRESENT..." and "OBJECTION!" intermixed with moaning and yelling
amy: I couldn't tell if the banging was a gavel or the headboard against the wall
amy: i assume, sometimes, that it was both
--
andy: papercraft ceiling cat just ate my brain.
andy: good morning.
--
amy: i built this city on rock and roll.
andy: i've heard that parts of the city were built on rock and roll, but due to the use of corrupt contractors, a great deal of it was built on disco and a certain section is built almost entirely on techno.
--
andy: given the popularity of chuck norris and the "i'm fucking matt damon" video on youtube, i'm trying to figure out why "i'm fucking chuck norris" gives so few hits on google.
--
(about the eee pc)
amy: i'm a little iffy about the screen size
amy: but other than that, it looks so cute that it could be the pet i don't have
andy: and it won't pee on the carpet.
amy: yet.
andy: yet
--
amy: i used "that's what she said," on my dad last night
amy: he didn't get it
andy: that's because i was getting it.
andy: from your mom.
--
amy: hey, you remind me
andy: of the babe
andy: what babe.
andy: the babe with the power.
andy: what power?
andy: sorry, a little david bowie slipped in.
--
andy: i would imagine they could do some damage.
amy: i damaged your mom last night
amy: SNAP
amy: man
amy: someone needs to shoot the lame one-trick-pony
andy: nah
andy: we like watching it limp around.
amy: [coworker] and I can't have a real conversation anymore
amy: it's all "your mom" jokes
amy: it's pretty sad.
andy: just pretend that you're blazing new trails of communication.
andy: i mean, you aren't, but just pretend.
--
amy: "in my pants"
amy: that's the one my friend uses all of the time
amy: I somehow feel that, as a girl, this line is not as effective when I use it
amy: then again
amy: I've been doing "your mom" since 2001
andy: i think it works.
andy: and i've been doing your mom for a lot longer.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
where's this post been?
andy: the tubes must have been backed up.
andy: with poop.
andy: internet poop.
--
amy: if anything exciting happens, I'm relying on you to let me know
amy: this includes gunfights.
andy: jesus, if i had to tell you about every gunfight i would never get anything done.
--
andy: client/server arch is sexy in some ways.
andy: but like your mom in a teddy, it doesn't always do exactly what you want.
amy: ...
--
andy: do you think the files i put in the windows recycling bin really
get recycled, or do they just get thrown away at the end of the day?
amy: they go to doggy heaven
amy: we didn't want to tell you this when you were younger, but...
andy: doggy heaven, eh?
andy: i just imagined doggie heaven was a bunch of disembodied legs to hump.
andy: i suddenly had a flash of the world's third most disturbing niche porn market, and now i'm going to try to forget it.
--
amy: porn destroyed the internet a long time ago
amy: we scavenge in the ruins now
andy: porn created the internet.
andy: porn and video games.
amy: and your mom
amy: and al gore
amy: they made a baby together
amy: and it was the internet
andy: seriously, who do you think was asking for high-bandwith connections?
andy: your mom is al gore.
andy: you see, it is funny, because it kind of sounds like "your mom is a whore"
andy: which she is.
--
andy: just think of me as google with swearing.
--
andy: i live by the idea that there are things you cannot unknow, no
matter how hard you try.
amy: yeah. that probably explains why i can't get my intimate knowledge of your mom out of my head.
andy: yes, that is one reason.
--
andy: ah spring.
andy: i remember seasons.
amy: back in my day, we had to walk 15 miles in the snow uphill, both ways, in order to experience a season
andy: yeah, but once we got through nuclear winter, everything went back to normal.
andy: except the mutants.
andy: fucking mutants.
--
amy: i like puppies.
andy: they are tasty.
--
amy: uhh
amy: you're weird.
andy: a year and a half of working together and i finally coax that out of you.
amy: oh, but i've been thinking it all along.
amy: i even mouth it sometimes when your back is turned
andy: with poop.
andy: internet poop.
--
amy: if anything exciting happens, I'm relying on you to let me know
amy: this includes gunfights.
andy: jesus, if i had to tell you about every gunfight i would never get anything done.
--
andy: client/server arch is sexy in some ways.
andy: but like your mom in a teddy, it doesn't always do exactly what you want.
amy: ...
--
andy: do you think the files i put in the windows recycling bin really
get recycled, or do they just get thrown away at the end of the day?
amy: they go to doggy heaven
amy: we didn't want to tell you this when you were younger, but...
andy: doggy heaven, eh?
andy: i just imagined doggie heaven was a bunch of disembodied legs to hump.
andy: i suddenly had a flash of the world's third most disturbing niche porn market, and now i'm going to try to forget it.
--
amy: porn destroyed the internet a long time ago
amy: we scavenge in the ruins now
andy: porn created the internet.
andy: porn and video games.
amy: and your mom
amy: and al gore
amy: they made a baby together
amy: and it was the internet
andy: seriously, who do you think was asking for high-bandwith connections?
andy: your mom is al gore.
andy: you see, it is funny, because it kind of sounds like "your mom is a whore"
andy: which she is.
--
andy: just think of me as google with swearing.
--
andy: i live by the idea that there are things you cannot unknow, no
matter how hard you try.
amy: yeah. that probably explains why i can't get my intimate knowledge of your mom out of my head.
andy: yes, that is one reason.
--
andy: ah spring.
andy: i remember seasons.
amy: back in my day, we had to walk 15 miles in the snow uphill, both ways, in order to experience a season
andy: yeah, but once we got through nuclear winter, everything went back to normal.
andy: except the mutants.
andy: fucking mutants.
--
amy: i like puppies.
andy: they are tasty.
--
amy: uhh
amy: you're weird.
andy: a year and a half of working together and i finally coax that out of you.
amy: oh, but i've been thinking it all along.
amy: i even mouth it sometimes when your back is turned
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