eternal questions answered

amy: so what does victory taste like?
andy: sugar, and wheat, and some jam.

--

amy: did you see the CNN headline about brothels offering gas incentives?
andy: is that like "the dutch oven"?

--

my: oooh, we've got TWO code freezes happening around the same time
amy: it's exciting
amy: like your mom
andy: she is exciting.
andy: but your mom is twice-frozen.
amy: hm.
andy: wow, i just threw that one away.
amy: puzzled cat says: FAIL
andy: ok then.
amy: three-life-mario cat says: TWO LIVES LEFT

--

andy: http://punchyouinthefacebook.com/
andy: not as cool as i had hoped.
andy: http://www.punchyouinthefacebook.net/
andy: still available

--

andy: happy monday
andy: in tuvalu, the first part of monday is considered an extension of the weekend, and it is considered socially uncool to not have at least one drink before noon.
amy: we clearly live in the wrong country
andy: in pre-revolutionary St. Petersburg, many families had a monday ritual of inviting a peasant in for dinner, then branding his face with a butter knife heated over the fire.
andy: they quickly ran out of peasants, so it was a short-lived fad.
amy: you're weird.
amy: wow, tuvalu is small
andy: that's what your mom said last night.
andy: (here we see a use of delay for dramatic impact. if you turn to page 127 in your text book, you will see several other examples and counter-examples, as well as a flow-char entitled "Determining the correct delay time for maximum emotional impact")

--

andy: hm ...
andy: well, at least there was no horse fucking.
andy: yet
amy: I'll have to look on that particular bright side more frequently
andy: you should.

--

amy: [large corporation] is watching you
andy: that's why i wear the monkey suit.
andy: it never knows if it's me or the monkey.
amy: and the tinfoil hat?
andy: that's to keep my head warm.

--

andy: next time somebody says "i don't think code review is a good use of our time" i am going to punch that person in the nuts and stomp on his or her face (though if it is a her then the nuts may not work)
amy: [femaile coworker] and i could start carrying around a bag of peanuts. you know, like the ones they give you on planes?

--

amy: do you ever think "Man, I really could have rocked the Oregon Trail back in the day!" now that you've played the game?
andy: totally.
andy: i used to practice by playing in the winter with the window open.
andy: and i gave myself dysentery.
andy: with a spoon.
amy: i gave your mom something with a spoon last night
amy: ice cream!
andy: funny, i was just about to say that.

--

andy: and knowing is half the battle.
andy: the other half is not panicking and shooting your friend in the back of the head because you were up all night smoking pot and playing cards, and you lack discipline.
amy: I KNEW YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT
amy: SNAP
amy: dammit, Pidgin makes it too hard to change the font size, etc. in any reasonable amount of time.
andy: oh god.
amy: lol
amy: I loled first
amy: and then I "lol"ed
amy: ah, that's better