andy: you know which version of firefox i like best?
andy: the one that doesn't crash every day.
amy: i like the one that doesn't hog memory and make me wait 5
minutes for my computer to come out of standby mode
andy: that one is pretty cool, too
amy: i also like the one that pops out puppies and rainbows at every
opportunity. though plays hell with my CPU time.
andy: yeah, i hear the new intel processors have a "generate_puppy"
operand. it takes like 20 cycles to run, though.
--
amy: admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
andy: which step is insulting the bouncer and waking up in a pile of
your own blood and vomit, next to a pile of someone elses?
amy: the part where you join fight club.
--
amy: wow, this is mindbendingly meta:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/20/people.paltrow.ap/index.html
andy: yeah, that was strange.
andy: i wonder what she thinks about the article.
amy: clearly CNN needs to report on that, too.
andy: if they don't, they suck.
andy: more
--
(when coworker raised a fuss about how hot it was in our development cave)
amy: [coworker] is such a mr. crankypants today
andy: maybe if he was crankyshorts he wouldn't be so crazy.
andy: i sent him this:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whambulance
amy: you can't see it, but right now i am giving you an internal 2 thumbs up.
amy: oh, and an external one, too
--
andy: do i really need a "pretty" version i can print out.
amy: yes.
amy: yes you do.
amy: YMJ
andy: hm . . . not seeing it yet . . . staring harder . . .
amy: do you remember the part where my jokes don't make any sense?
amy: just because i use your "your mom joke" shorthand doesn't mean they'll make any more sense.
andy: there are varying levels of "doesn't make sense"
amy: i was referring to printing out a pretty version of your mom in PDF form
amy: GEEZ, get with the game, dude!
(pause)
amy: please don't throw anything at me.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
royal rainbox!
andy: nobody seems happy today.
andy: we need a royal rainbox.
andy: bow.
andy: i meant bow.
andy: i'm not advocating putting anybody in a box.
andy: and i'm certainly not advocating throwing the box off a bridge.
andy: that would be murder.
--
(how lolcats have ruined america)
andy: oh god, i eated the salty ones.
amy: oh noes!
--
(when complaining about the increased traffic due to a new fancypants gym nearby)
andy: it's funny how people are always driving to the gym.
andy: I feel like there should be a remedy for this...
amy: car pooling to the gym?
andy: screw you.
--
(after discovering oscar the death cat has a canine counterpart)
amy: i wonder what happens when death dog and death cat rumble?
amy: the apocalypse?
andy: MASSIVE CNN BREAKING NEWS!!!
--
andy: i knew well enough to stay the hell away from any link
that is labled as "disturbing" by a furry.
amy: clearly i have not learned my lesson
amy: it's pretty interesting
amy: i encourage you to, um, step into this guy's world of BATFUCK CRAZY
--
andy: that tea you gave me is pretty smooth, until the last sip, where
it's all, "so you think you're tough, eh tea boy?
--
(about Mario Kart Double Dash)
andy: that game is the devil's work.
andy: all those hot video game characters with their legs wrapped
around each other, driving in their cars, doing god-knows what.
--
andy: take the day off, have some fun.
andy: go do whatever the kids do these days.
andy: with their crazy disco and rocket ships and killer robots
andy: we need a royal rainbox.
andy: bow.
andy: i meant bow.
andy: i'm not advocating putting anybody in a box.
andy: and i'm certainly not advocating throwing the box off a bridge.
andy: that would be murder.
--
(how lolcats have ruined america)
andy: oh god, i eated the salty ones.
amy: oh noes!
--
(when complaining about the increased traffic due to a new fancypants gym nearby)
andy: it's funny how people are always driving to the gym.
andy: I feel like there should be a remedy for this...
amy: car pooling to the gym?
andy: screw you.
--
(after discovering oscar the death cat has a canine counterpart)
amy: i wonder what happens when death dog and death cat rumble?
amy: the apocalypse?
andy: MASSIVE CNN BREAKING NEWS!!!
--
andy: i knew well enough to stay the hell away from any link
that is labled as "disturbing" by a furry.
amy: clearly i have not learned my lesson
amy: it's pretty interesting
amy: i encourage you to, um, step into this guy's world of BATFUCK CRAZY
--
andy: that tea you gave me is pretty smooth, until the last sip, where
it's all, "so you think you're tough, eh tea boy?
--
(about Mario Kart Double Dash)
andy: that game is the devil's work.
andy: all those hot video game characters with their legs wrapped
around each other, driving in their cars, doing god-knows what.
--
andy: take the day off, have some fun.
andy: go do whatever the kids do these days.
andy: with their crazy disco and rocket ships and killer robots
Sunday, August 12, 2007
"your IMs are like that death cat."
andy: your IMs are like that death cat. if you get an IM from amy, you are about to die.
amy: well, that's my cheerful thought for the week
--
andy: trust me, i know exactly how funny i am.
andy: to ten decimal places.
--
(when i asked what one of our coworkers does)
andy: imagine [our company] as some sort of large sea-dwelling mammal.
andy: and imagine cash being stored in some sort of bucket.
andy: [coworker] makes sure that we always has a bucket.
andy: and that they not be taking it.
--
amy: i think about how, 50 years from now, there will be old people in retirement homes being all like, "i can has prune juice" and then everyone will laugh and none of the young 'uns will get it
andy: that's a sad, sad thought.
andy: maybe by that time a new age of sincerity will have come about, and people will be ashamed of their lolcat love.
andy: either that or the young people will be so annoyed with us that they will push for mandatory euthanasia
--
(about scottish fold cats)
andy: would it be funny to get one of those cats and put some fake blood on its head, and then walk around with it?
andy: i say, "yes"
amy: well, that's my cheerful thought for the week
--
andy: trust me, i know exactly how funny i am.
andy: to ten decimal places.
--
(when i asked what one of our coworkers does)
andy: imagine [our company] as some sort of large sea-dwelling mammal.
andy: and imagine cash being stored in some sort of bucket.
andy: [coworker] makes sure that we always has a bucket.
andy: and that they not be taking it.
--
amy: i think about how, 50 years from now, there will be old people in retirement homes being all like, "i can has prune juice" and then everyone will laugh and none of the young 'uns will get it
andy: that's a sad, sad thought.
andy: maybe by that time a new age of sincerity will have come about, and people will be ashamed of their lolcat love.
andy: either that or the young people will be so annoyed with us that they will push for mandatory euthanasia
--
(about scottish fold cats)
andy: would it be funny to get one of those cats and put some fake blood on its head, and then walk around with it?
andy: i say, "yes"
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
you can't see it, but...
amy: you can't see it, but right now, i am doing a triumphant victory dance
amy: with your mom
--
andy: i rock old skool.
amy: old skool would be a spork
andy: if you're stabbing yourself in the eye, you aren't going for the"feel good" method.
--
amy: you know, i keep mentioning to [coworker] that when something is broken, that makes me a sad panda.
amy: but come to think of it, i don't think he gets the reference.
amy: and probably thinks i'm just crazy.
andy: all pandas are sad, and he knows it.
andy: what you don't know is that they're all sad because [coworker] is trying to kill them.
andy: he pretends ignorance to shield you from the awful truth.
amy: :-O
--
andy: is there a word for having several extended metaphors going in different IM windows, and losing track?
andy: there should be.
amy: what was that, about your contribution to the english language and kilowords?
andy: well, i'm not going to invent a new word if there's already a perfectly cromulent one.
amy: i'm afraid to think about what your other extended metaphors are.
andy: just remember that i'm a duke in the land of metaphors.
amy: i bet that just gets you laid all the time.
andy: strangely, not as often as one would expect.
--
amy: U LOSE!
andy: i fucking win.
andy: by adding "fucking", it becomes indisputable.
andy: like your mom
amy: i honestly can't argue with that.
andy: i like that sentence. it is fun to parse.
amy: with your mom
--
andy: i rock old skool.
amy: old skool would be a spork
andy: if you're stabbing yourself in the eye, you aren't going for the"feel good" method.
--
amy: you know, i keep mentioning to [coworker] that when something is broken, that makes me a sad panda.
amy: but come to think of it, i don't think he gets the reference.
amy: and probably thinks i'm just crazy.
andy: all pandas are sad, and he knows it.
andy: what you don't know is that they're all sad because [coworker] is trying to kill them.
andy: he pretends ignorance to shield you from the awful truth.
amy: :-O
--
andy: is there a word for having several extended metaphors going in different IM windows, and losing track?
andy: there should be.
amy: what was that, about your contribution to the english language and kilowords?
andy: well, i'm not going to invent a new word if there's already a perfectly cromulent one.
amy: i'm afraid to think about what your other extended metaphors are.
andy: just remember that i'm a duke in the land of metaphors.
amy: i bet that just gets you laid all the time.
andy: strangely, not as often as one would expect.
--
amy: U LOSE!
andy: i fucking win.
andy: by adding "fucking", it becomes indisputable.
andy: like your mom
amy: i honestly can't argue with that.
andy: i like that sentence. it is fun to parse.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
"Good fortune has its roots in disaster, and Pinot sales have shot through the gag wrapped over her face."
andy: it's the difference between "oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh" and "WOO WOO"
--
amy: http://foryourentertainment.blogspot.com/2007/07/oh-my.html
andy: it's always good to have a preview of your nightmares, just so you know what to expect ahead of time
--
about: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/seriously-hungr.html
andy: he's young
andy: he's had a short life
amy: who?
andy: [coworker]. he said it was the best video he had ever seen in his life.
amy: oh
amy: he obviously hasn't seen thriller.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/son-those-are-s.html
amy: this just doesn't look...right
andy: the cute overload anal fixation must end!
--
amy: [quoting coworker] "nice catch, all fix now! kthxbuy"
amy: i kind of want to point out that's not how you spell "bai"
andy: stop judging. lolcat just wants to love.
--
andy: sinsnarky.
andy: my contributions to the english language will be measured in kilowords.
amy: yes. yes they will.
--
amy: wow, the paris version of the haunted mansion has _much_ better music than the US one
andy: paris hilton has a haunted mansion?
amy: she can fit a lot in there...
andy: i was wondering where you would go with that.
amy: i meant her purse.
andy: so did i.
--
amy: i'm sure his inner hipster will weep.
andy: so will the outer hipster.
--
amy: http://foryourentertainment.blogspot.com/2007/07/oh-my.html
andy: it's always good to have a preview of your nightmares, just so you know what to expect ahead of time
--
about: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/seriously-hungr.html
andy: he's young
andy: he's had a short life
amy: who?
andy: [coworker]. he said it was the best video he had ever seen in his life.
amy: oh
amy: he obviously hasn't seen thriller.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/son-those-are-s.html
amy: this just doesn't look...right
andy: the cute overload anal fixation must end!
--
amy: [quoting coworker] "nice catch, all fix now! kthxbuy"
amy: i kind of want to point out that's not how you spell "bai"
andy: stop judging. lolcat just wants to love.
--
andy: sinsnarky.
andy: my contributions to the english language will be measured in kilowords.
amy: yes. yes they will.
--
amy: wow, the paris version of the haunted mansion has _much_ better music than the US one
andy: paris hilton has a haunted mansion?
amy: she can fit a lot in there...
andy: i was wondering where you would go with that.
amy: i meant her purse.
andy: so did i.
--
amy: i'm sure his inner hipster will weep.
andy: so will the outer hipster.
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