...because I suck at blog.
--
andy: emo - the musical
amy: the stage full of hipsters.
amy: wow.
amy: i can imagine it now.
amy: even though i'm trying pretty hard not to.
--
andy: i remixed your mom last night.
andy: i added some new beats.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/12/02/crabby-old-man-kitteh-tellz-u-boring-storeez/
amy: that would have been better with "crabby old man kitteh tellz u to get off his dam lawn!"
andy: crabby old man kitty invades your sleep and steals your dreams.
amy: crabby old man kitty could have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those darn kids!
--
amy: i have blue screen of deathed two times today
andy: windows is all powerful.
andy: it made you think you were seeing blue so that it could get real work done without you bothering it.
amy: windows is the real man's operating system.
andy: real men like to get sucker-punched.
--
andy: "I want these motherfucking agents of the Magisterium off this motherfucking balloon!"
--
andy: what's the point of a bug tracking system if you can't call someone an ass-hatted uncle fucker sometimes?
--
andy: and no, i have not gone to a church to recruit.
andy: i'm not sure i could do that.
andy: unless they were snake handlers.
amy: i think that would be amazing.
andy: well duh.
--
andy: [coworker] is rocking a goatee.
andy: no, i lied.
andy: no one "rocks" a goatee.
amy: i don't know. [coworker] rocks a lot of other things.
amy: haha
andy: if it was possible to rock a goatee, [coworker] would be doing it.
andy: currently, there is a goatee attached to [coworker]'s face.
amy: it may be slowly sucking the life out of him
amy: be careful
--
amy: wow, cupcakeblog just makes me want to eat baked goods
amy: i kind of want to follow this woman around and steal all of her cooling cupcakes from her windowsill
andy: sugar makes me want to eat baked goods.
amy: your mom makes me want to eat baked goods
andy: i ate your mom last night after she got baked.
andy: massive fail cat says: welcome to my world.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
it's been awhile
Er, just note the name change above. I've moved to a new state, but we have the same great conversations, just less frequently. Oh, and CNN still sucks.
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/22/apontv.castyourfate.ap/index.html
andy: a. misleading headline
andy: b. article far less sexy than headline would imply.
andy: c. why am i reading cnn?
andy: it's really not worth reading, mostly for the last reason i mention.
amy: a) yeah, that is pretty lame
amy: b) no anecdotes!!!
amy: c) have you learned nothing?
amy: cnn is a bastion of disappointment and pandering
andy: and i keep falling for it.
amy: so does the rest of america
amy: don't feel so bad.
--
andy: and people with fast computers.
amy: your mom had a fast computer last night
amy: OHHH SNAP
andy: i have been served.
amy: quite verily, sir.
--
amy:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/11/08/fluffy-reporting-live-from-downtown-philly/
amy: "fluffy is in ur ghetoz, reportin live!"
andy: that's a fucked up picture.
andy: i call photoshop.
amy: i dunno
amy: why go through the trouble to photoshop a blurry cat into the foreground?
andy: we're talking about icanhascheezburger, and you just used the phrase "why go through the trouble".
andy: think about that.
amy: ...
--
andy: by the way, i just got a megadik spam in the form of a poem
andy: At last you've found a lass that's hot You wanna plough her tasteful twat. She's full of passion, she's so nice! But would your penile size suffice? Not sure she will wish for more? You need a dong she would adore! But how to get it long and thick? Your only hope is MegaDik! You'll get so wanted super-size And see great
pleasure in her eyes! Your rod will slam her pink so deep, Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep! So try today this magic p'ill And change your life at your own will!
andy: eh, line breaks just died, didn't they?
amy: i think a small part of all of us just died, honestly.
andy: come on, that's the best spam ever.
andy: somebody really tried.
amy: so did the guy who wrote all of those nantucket limericks, but you'll notice he only ever talks about other people getting laid.
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/22/apontv.castyourfate.ap/index.html
andy: a. misleading headline
andy: b. article far less sexy than headline would imply.
andy: c. why am i reading cnn?
andy: it's really not worth reading, mostly for the last reason i mention.
amy: a) yeah, that is pretty lame
amy: b) no anecdotes!!!
amy: c) have you learned nothing?
amy: cnn is a bastion of disappointment and pandering
andy: and i keep falling for it.
amy: so does the rest of america
amy: don't feel so bad.
--
andy: and people with fast computers.
amy: your mom had a fast computer last night
amy: OHHH SNAP
andy: i have been served.
amy: quite verily, sir.
--
amy:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/11/08/fluffy-reporting-live-from-downtown-philly/
amy: "fluffy is in ur ghetoz, reportin live!"
andy: that's a fucked up picture.
andy: i call photoshop.
amy: i dunno
amy: why go through the trouble to photoshop a blurry cat into the foreground?
andy: we're talking about icanhascheezburger, and you just used the phrase "why go through the trouble".
andy: think about that.
amy: ...
--
andy: by the way, i just got a megadik spam in the form of a poem
andy: At last you've found a lass that's hot You wanna plough her tasteful twat. She's full of passion, she's so nice! But would your penile size suffice? Not sure she will wish for more? You need a dong she would adore! But how to get it long and thick? Your only hope is MegaDik! You'll get so wanted super-size And see great
pleasure in her eyes! Your rod will slam her pink so deep, Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep! So try today this magic p'ill And change your life at your own will!
andy: eh, line breaks just died, didn't they?
amy: i think a small part of all of us just died, honestly.
andy: come on, that's the best spam ever.
andy: somebody really tried.
amy: so did the guy who wrote all of those nantucket limericks, but you'll notice he only ever talks about other people getting laid.
Friday, October 19, 2007
an accumulation of the last two weeks
because things have been really, really busy.
--
andy: tastes like christmas.
andy: i probably said that last time, too.
andy: i only say five or six things.
andy: most of them end with "fuck"
--
andy: http://www.myspace.com/clubdeluxesf
andy: you should go to the "Yo Mamma! Slam 2007"
amy: nah
amy: i'm not about insulting your mom
amy: just celebrating her
--
andy: http://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/ds/imaginebabyz
amy: we have come a long way since the sack of flour
andy: and in some ways, not far enough.
--
andy: just get off my damned lawn.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/10/a-wise-wise-ani.html
andy: i'm pretty sure that rabbit could eat a person.
amy: i'm pretty sure it already has.
amy: (neil diamond, in fact)
--
andy: i'm still not sure about how i feel about the "illegal sex with
your mom" angle.
andy: i mean, we did it at a lot of different angles.
andy: but still.
amy: i hear there's websites out there on the internet for that sort of thing
andy: there are three.
andy: one isn't very good, though.
--
amy: good spam subject line: "Does your penis ruin your life?"
andy: always.
amy: penises frequently ruin mine as well.
amy: :-/
--
amy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbaTur4A1OU
amy: you just got duckrolled
amy: bitch.
andy: i hit your mom with a duck last night.
--
(when andy was complaining about how he keeps receiving other people's email)
amy: have you ever considered legally changing your name to something
other than "andrew"?
andy: have you ever considered GOING TO HELL!?!?
--
amy: ymj
amy: (just throwing that out there. gotta keep you on your toes.)
andy: only fair, since i kept your mom on her toes last night.
andy: ZING
amy: yeah, i was waiting for that.
andy: so was she.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/10/tocktober-icy-c.html
amy: BEAR ASS
andy: jesus.
andy: that's something i don't need to see again.
--
andy: http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20071012/sc_livescience/forecastsexandmarriagewithrobotsby2050
amy: yeahhh, i saw that. those netherlands kids are craaaazy.
andy: crazy like a robot-fucking fox.
amy: but hey, i guess there's some reassurance in knowing the robot
won't break your heart.
amy: well, unless you want it to.
amy: with its fists.
andy: people already have sex with robots all the time.
andy: nobody wants to marry a vibrator.
--
andy: (andy has left the building. please leave a message.)
--
andy: tastes like christmas.
andy: i probably said that last time, too.
andy: i only say five or six things.
andy: most of them end with "fuck"
--
andy: http://www.myspace.com/clubdeluxesf
andy: you should go to the "Yo Mamma! Slam 2007"
amy: nah
amy: i'm not about insulting your mom
amy: just celebrating her
--
andy: http://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/ds/imaginebabyz
amy: we have come a long way since the sack of flour
andy: and in some ways, not far enough.
--
andy: just get off my damned lawn.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/10/a-wise-wise-ani.html
andy: i'm pretty sure that rabbit could eat a person.
amy: i'm pretty sure it already has.
amy: (neil diamond, in fact)
--
andy: i'm still not sure about how i feel about the "illegal sex with
your mom" angle.
andy: i mean, we did it at a lot of different angles.
andy: but still.
amy: i hear there's websites out there on the internet for that sort of thing
andy: there are three.
andy: one isn't very good, though.
--
amy: good spam subject line: "Does your penis ruin your life?"
andy: always.
amy: penises frequently ruin mine as well.
amy: :-/
--
amy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbaTur4A1OU
amy: you just got duckrolled
amy: bitch.
andy: i hit your mom with a duck last night.
--
(when andy was complaining about how he keeps receiving other people's email)
amy: have you ever considered legally changing your name to something
other than "andrew"?
andy: have you ever considered GOING TO HELL!?!?
--
amy: ymj
amy: (just throwing that out there. gotta keep you on your toes.)
andy: only fair, since i kept your mom on her toes last night.
andy: ZING
amy: yeah, i was waiting for that.
andy: so was she.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/10/tocktober-icy-c.html
amy: BEAR ASS
andy: jesus.
andy: that's something i don't need to see again.
--
andy: http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20071012/sc_livescience/forecastsexandmarriagewithrobotsby2050
amy: yeahhh, i saw that. those netherlands kids are craaaazy.
andy: crazy like a robot-fucking fox.
amy: but hey, i guess there's some reassurance in knowing the robot
won't break your heart.
amy: well, unless you want it to.
amy: with its fists.
andy: people already have sex with robots all the time.
andy: nobody wants to marry a vibrator.
--
andy: (andy has left the building. please leave a message.)
Monday, October 1, 2007
(after i made my first YMJ after my return to the office)
andy: i knew i was missing something.
andy: welcome back.
--
andy: so, you're going to the baseball game, right?
amy: ...
amy: will your mom be there?
andy: a;sfjas;df
amy: come on, you can come up with a witty retort!
amy: you can do it!
amy: i believe in you!
andy: now you're just being mean.
--
andy: yalp.com
andy: i haven't gone yet.
andy: porn or not porn?
andy: cast your vote.
--
amy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simply_Irresistible
amy: i mean, seriously? an "enchanted crab"?
amy: that sounds like something you catch after a one night stand with a fairy godmother. not something that makes you a "superb food witch"
andy: movies that do not feature a super-hero created by a nuclear accident or a wise-cracking ghost with a secret are automatically suspect.
--
(after discussing this)
amy: oh well
amy: sexism goes on.
andy: and it will go on until we get robots to review products.
andy: sexy shiny review robots.
amy: do i need to give you a moment alone with the review robots?
andy: ... no
andy: sadly
--
andy: are you "loving" your pet to death?
andy: CNN headlines rule.
--
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/09/26/nerd.auction.ap/index.html
amy: i've seen craigslist ads like this
andy: yeah, that's just what i was thinking.
amy: except they usually end with sexual favors
andy: yup, that's the one.
--
andy: "customers who bough items like this also bought ..."
andy: how many pairs of rainboots does one human need?
amy: you need to accessorize!
amy: it's easier if you've just got multiple sets of galoshes
amy: yes, this is how women think.
andy: all of them.
amy: even some men.
amy: it's an overwhelming consciousness
amy: submit to it, mr. i-have-two-bikes
amy: or else you will be assimilated into the borg collective by force
andy: ok, first off, my bikes don't match my clothes. in fact, [coworker]'s opinion aside, my bikes have about 0 style.
andy: second, at some point in this conversation i began to wonder about the correlation between owning multiple pairs of galoshes and wanting a baby in your belly.
andy: i'm thinking they might be positively related in some way, which makes me giggle, because at some point when you have a baby you'll think back on this and want to kick my ass for pointing it out.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2007/09/26/iminyourgardenco.jpg
amy: cuteoverload posted this mantis specifically to highlight his poop.
andy: wow.
andy: go internet.
andy: what i said about cuteoverload and anal fixation stands.
--
(making fun of Vista and the new voice-recognition capability...)
andy: You can say "How do I" followed by a task you want to perform with your computer. For example, "How do I change my desktop background?"
andy: How do I get a better computer?
andy: How do I level up?
amy: "How do I find your mom?"
andy: shit
andy: ambush!
amy: ohhhh snap
andy: i'm not sure i want the computer to do what i tell it to do.
amy: it ruins the surprise?
amy: doesn't windows already not do what you tell it to do?
andy: non-deterministic computing rocks.
amy: "don't phone home"
amy: "don't run IE"
amy: "don't suck"
andy: eh, it just obeys a subset of commands.
andy: "freeze up"
andy: "hog memory"
andy: "take forever to log in"
andy: managed expectations have gotten me this far.
andy: welcome back.
--
andy: so, you're going to the baseball game, right?
amy: ...
amy: will your mom be there?
andy: a;sfjas;df
amy: come on, you can come up with a witty retort!
amy: you can do it!
amy: i believe in you!
andy: now you're just being mean.
--
andy: yalp.com
andy: i haven't gone yet.
andy: porn or not porn?
andy: cast your vote.
--
amy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simply_Irresistible
amy: i mean, seriously? an "enchanted crab"?
amy: that sounds like something you catch after a one night stand with a fairy godmother. not something that makes you a "superb food witch"
andy: movies that do not feature a super-hero created by a nuclear accident or a wise-cracking ghost with a secret are automatically suspect.
--
(after discussing this)
amy: oh well
amy: sexism goes on.
andy: and it will go on until we get robots to review products.
andy: sexy shiny review robots.
amy: do i need to give you a moment alone with the review robots?
andy: ... no
andy: sadly
--
andy: are you "loving" your pet to death?
andy: CNN headlines rule.
--
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/09/26/nerd.auction.ap/index.html
amy: i've seen craigslist ads like this
andy: yeah, that's just what i was thinking.
amy: except they usually end with sexual favors
andy: yup, that's the one.
--
andy: "customers who bough items like this also bought ..."
andy: how many pairs of rainboots does one human need?
amy: you need to accessorize!
amy: it's easier if you've just got multiple sets of galoshes
amy: yes, this is how women think.
andy: all of them.
amy: even some men.
amy: it's an overwhelming consciousness
amy: submit to it, mr. i-have-two-bikes
amy: or else you will be assimilated into the borg collective by force
andy: ok, first off, my bikes don't match my clothes. in fact, [coworker]'s opinion aside, my bikes have about 0 style.
andy: second, at some point in this conversation i began to wonder about the correlation between owning multiple pairs of galoshes and wanting a baby in your belly.
andy: i'm thinking they might be positively related in some way, which makes me giggle, because at some point when you have a baby you'll think back on this and want to kick my ass for pointing it out.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2007/09/26/iminyourgardenco.jpg
amy: cuteoverload posted this mantis specifically to highlight his poop.
andy: wow.
andy: go internet.
andy: what i said about cuteoverload and anal fixation stands.
--
(making fun of Vista and the new voice-recognition capability...)
andy: You can say "How do I" followed by a task you want to perform with your computer. For example, "How do I change my desktop background?"
andy: How do I get a better computer?
andy: How do I level up?
amy: "How do I find your mom?"
andy: shit
andy: ambush!
amy: ohhhh snap
andy: i'm not sure i want the computer to do what i tell it to do.
amy: it ruins the surprise?
amy: doesn't windows already not do what you tell it to do?
andy: non-deterministic computing rocks.
amy: "don't phone home"
amy: "don't run IE"
amy: "don't suck"
andy: eh, it just obeys a subset of commands.
andy: "freeze up"
andy: "hog memory"
andy: "take forever to log in"
andy: managed expectations have gotten me this far.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
...
(Throwing out some old and new ones this week because it's been slow - we're on non-overlapping vacations. Oh, and hella busy. See y'all in two weeks!)
--
andy: ...
amy: heh. it's fun to render you speechless.
andy: that wasn't speechless, that was three little sympathy dots.
--
andy: people spend more money on books about romance than they do on books about people who have dreams that they are having affairs with robots but it turns out that they really are having affairs with robots in a parallel universe and their ultimate fate is to tear down the walls between the universes so that other people can feel the cold steel touch of a robot.
--
amy: i would say, if she sat there through [friend]'s "I want to run naked at burning man" speech (which actually ran a little long) i think she can handle things
amy: yeah. it was a weird, weird few moments
andy: is there a version of that speech that would not have been a little too long?
amy: well, i guess i might have goaded him just a little.
andy: ah
andy: your a real bitch when you want to be.
andy: in the best possible way.
amy: it's "you're"
andy: yeah.
andy: yeah, it is
--
andy: the internet is run by a bunch of semi-feral 15 year old boys.
they are hungry, and they are angry.
--
andy: if wishes were horses . . .
amy: what would the horse's ass be in that analogy?
amy: come to think of it, what would the horse shit be?
--
andy: PLEASE DO (2) NEXT INTERCAL MANUAL ANDY
amy: do what now?
andy: sorry, bad intercal joke.
amy: all i get out of that is "do #2 next to andy."
amy: which i don't think is what you intended
andy: . . .
andy: . . .
amy: this is one of those conversations where it should just end, right?
andy: let's just walk away slowly and hope it doesn't wake up.
amy: hee.
andy: (shhh)
--
andy: sports team. local. how about that.
amy: going to nationals this year, i hear.
andy: yeah, going all the way.
andy: don't.
andy: don't even think about it.
--
andy: ...
amy: heh. it's fun to render you speechless.
andy: that wasn't speechless, that was three little sympathy dots.
--
andy: people spend more money on books about romance than they do on books about people who have dreams that they are having affairs with robots but it turns out that they really are having affairs with robots in a parallel universe and their ultimate fate is to tear down the walls between the universes so that other people can feel the cold steel touch of a robot.
--
amy: i would say, if she sat there through [friend]'s "I want to run naked at burning man" speech (which actually ran a little long) i think she can handle things
amy: yeah. it was a weird, weird few moments
andy: is there a version of that speech that would not have been a little too long?
amy: well, i guess i might have goaded him just a little.
andy: ah
andy: your a real bitch when you want to be.
andy: in the best possible way.
amy: it's "you're"
andy: yeah.
andy: yeah, it is
--
andy: the internet is run by a bunch of semi-feral 15 year old boys.
they are hungry, and they are angry.
--
andy: if wishes were horses . . .
amy: what would the horse's ass be in that analogy?
amy: come to think of it, what would the horse shit be?
--
andy: PLEASE DO (2) NEXT INTERCAL MANUAL ANDY
amy: do what now?
andy: sorry, bad intercal joke.
amy: all i get out of that is "do #2 next to andy."
amy: which i don't think is what you intended
andy: . . .
andy: . . .
amy: this is one of those conversations where it should just end, right?
andy: let's just walk away slowly and hope it doesn't wake up.
amy: hee.
andy: (shhh)
--
andy: sports team. local. how about that.
amy: going to nationals this year, i hear.
andy: yeah, going all the way.
andy: don't.
andy: don't even think about it.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
on this week's episode...
amy: i frequently feel a need to punch someone in the face.
amy: well, that, or relax.
andy: face punching yoga?
amy: i feel like you're on to something there.
andy: If they can do hot yoga, why not hot painful yoga?
amy: ...i did hot, painful yoga with your mom last night.
andy: that's funny, because i punched your mom in the face last night.
--
oh CNN...
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/08/22/kids.domains.ap/index.html
amy: ok, seriously? wtf?
andy: yeah, i've heard about that.
andy: but i don't think enough people do that to warrant an article.
andy: i mean, they might as well right about people who wipe their
asses with their non-dominant hand.
andy: sure, it happens, but nobody cares.
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/09/04/dating.mating.ap/index.html
amy: next up, "THE SKY IS BLUE!"
andy: they ran that one yesterday.
andy: it was pretty well researched.
andy: they even had some quotes from NQB, a group of brits who say
that the sky is actually "Not Quite Blue"
andy: you know, for balance.
amy: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1659611,00.html?cnn=yes
amy: CNN apparently rubs off on others.
amy: "Babies vs. Chimps: Who's Smarter"
andy: fuck smarter. which one is tastier?
--
andy: engineers and sales people are generally socially retarded in
different ways.
--
oh cory...
amy: yeah...how about that foreign tennis player.
andy: he's dreamy
amy: you know who is really dreamy?
amy: Cory Doctorow.
andy: your mom.
andy: cory doctorow is your mom.
andy: there, i said it.
--
andy: so the [issue that I was whining about at the time] could be a deflecting device?
(10:00:19) andy: shields up! battlestations!
(10:00:20) amy: a personal shield device a la star trek would be a
deflecting device
amy: it's scary that we both went to the same place with that.
andy: dork and dorker.
--
amy: what would you do for a klondike bar?
andy: would you kill a man for a klondike bar?
amy: well, depends on what time of the month it is...
(pause)
andy: is there a response to this that doesn't get me fired?
amy: well, that, or relax.
andy: face punching yoga?
amy: i feel like you're on to something there.
andy: If they can do hot yoga, why not hot painful yoga?
amy: ...i did hot, painful yoga with your mom last night.
andy: that's funny, because i punched your mom in the face last night.
--
oh CNN...
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/08/22/kids.domains.ap/index.html
amy: ok, seriously? wtf?
andy: yeah, i've heard about that.
andy: but i don't think enough people do that to warrant an article.
andy: i mean, they might as well right about people who wipe their
asses with their non-dominant hand.
andy: sure, it happens, but nobody cares.
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/09/04/dating.mating.ap/index.html
amy: next up, "THE SKY IS BLUE!"
andy: they ran that one yesterday.
andy: it was pretty well researched.
andy: they even had some quotes from NQB, a group of brits who say
that the sky is actually "Not Quite Blue"
andy: you know, for balance.
amy: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1659611,00.html?cnn=yes
amy: CNN apparently rubs off on others.
amy: "Babies vs. Chimps: Who's Smarter"
andy: fuck smarter. which one is tastier?
--
andy: engineers and sales people are generally socially retarded in
different ways.
--
oh cory...
amy: yeah...how about that foreign tennis player.
andy: he's dreamy
amy: you know who is really dreamy?
amy: Cory Doctorow.
andy: your mom.
andy: cory doctorow is your mom.
andy: there, i said it.
--
andy: so the [issue that I was whining about at the time] could be a deflecting device?
(10:00:19) andy: shields up! battlestations!
(10:00:20) amy: a personal shield device a la star trek would be a
deflecting device
amy: it's scary that we both went to the same place with that.
andy: dork and dorker.
--
amy: what would you do for a klondike bar?
andy: would you kill a man for a klondike bar?
amy: well, depends on what time of the month it is...
(pause)
andy: is there a response to this that doesn't get me fired?
Thursday, August 23, 2007
(trust me, we actually <3 firefox. well, at least more than we love ie.)
andy: you know which version of firefox i like best?
andy: the one that doesn't crash every day.
amy: i like the one that doesn't hog memory and make me wait 5
minutes for my computer to come out of standby mode
andy: that one is pretty cool, too
amy: i also like the one that pops out puppies and rainbows at every
opportunity. though plays hell with my CPU time.
andy: yeah, i hear the new intel processors have a "generate_puppy"
operand. it takes like 20 cycles to run, though.
--
amy: admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
andy: which step is insulting the bouncer and waking up in a pile of
your own blood and vomit, next to a pile of someone elses?
amy: the part where you join fight club.
--
amy: wow, this is mindbendingly meta:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/20/people.paltrow.ap/index.html
andy: yeah, that was strange.
andy: i wonder what she thinks about the article.
amy: clearly CNN needs to report on that, too.
andy: if they don't, they suck.
andy: more
--
(when coworker raised a fuss about how hot it was in our development cave)
amy: [coworker] is such a mr. crankypants today
andy: maybe if he was crankyshorts he wouldn't be so crazy.
andy: i sent him this:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whambulance
amy: you can't see it, but right now i am giving you an internal 2 thumbs up.
amy: oh, and an external one, too
--
andy: do i really need a "pretty" version i can print out.
amy: yes.
amy: yes you do.
amy: YMJ
andy: hm . . . not seeing it yet . . . staring harder . . .
amy: do you remember the part where my jokes don't make any sense?
amy: just because i use your "your mom joke" shorthand doesn't mean they'll make any more sense.
andy: there are varying levels of "doesn't make sense"
amy: i was referring to printing out a pretty version of your mom in PDF form
amy: GEEZ, get with the game, dude!
(pause)
amy: please don't throw anything at me.
andy: the one that doesn't crash every day.
amy: i like the one that doesn't hog memory and make me wait 5
minutes for my computer to come out of standby mode
andy: that one is pretty cool, too
amy: i also like the one that pops out puppies and rainbows at every
opportunity. though plays hell with my CPU time.
andy: yeah, i hear the new intel processors have a "generate_puppy"
operand. it takes like 20 cycles to run, though.
--
amy: admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
andy: which step is insulting the bouncer and waking up in a pile of
your own blood and vomit, next to a pile of someone elses?
amy: the part where you join fight club.
--
amy: wow, this is mindbendingly meta:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/20/people.paltrow.ap/index.html
andy: yeah, that was strange.
andy: i wonder what she thinks about the article.
amy: clearly CNN needs to report on that, too.
andy: if they don't, they suck.
andy: more
--
(when coworker raised a fuss about how hot it was in our development cave)
amy: [coworker] is such a mr. crankypants today
andy: maybe if he was crankyshorts he wouldn't be so crazy.
andy: i sent him this:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whambulance
amy: you can't see it, but right now i am giving you an internal 2 thumbs up.
amy: oh, and an external one, too
--
andy: do i really need a "pretty" version i can print out.
amy: yes.
amy: yes you do.
amy: YMJ
andy: hm . . . not seeing it yet . . . staring harder . . .
amy: do you remember the part where my jokes don't make any sense?
amy: just because i use your "your mom joke" shorthand doesn't mean they'll make any more sense.
andy: there are varying levels of "doesn't make sense"
amy: i was referring to printing out a pretty version of your mom in PDF form
amy: GEEZ, get with the game, dude!
(pause)
amy: please don't throw anything at me.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
royal rainbox!
andy: nobody seems happy today.
andy: we need a royal rainbox.
andy: bow.
andy: i meant bow.
andy: i'm not advocating putting anybody in a box.
andy: and i'm certainly not advocating throwing the box off a bridge.
andy: that would be murder.
--
(how lolcats have ruined america)
andy: oh god, i eated the salty ones.
amy: oh noes!
--
(when complaining about the increased traffic due to a new fancypants gym nearby)
andy: it's funny how people are always driving to the gym.
andy: I feel like there should be a remedy for this...
amy: car pooling to the gym?
andy: screw you.
--
(after discovering oscar the death cat has a canine counterpart)
amy: i wonder what happens when death dog and death cat rumble?
amy: the apocalypse?
andy: MASSIVE CNN BREAKING NEWS!!!
--
andy: i knew well enough to stay the hell away from any link
that is labled as "disturbing" by a furry.
amy: clearly i have not learned my lesson
amy: it's pretty interesting
amy: i encourage you to, um, step into this guy's world of BATFUCK CRAZY
--
andy: that tea you gave me is pretty smooth, until the last sip, where
it's all, "so you think you're tough, eh tea boy?
--
(about Mario Kart Double Dash)
andy: that game is the devil's work.
andy: all those hot video game characters with their legs wrapped
around each other, driving in their cars, doing god-knows what.
--
andy: take the day off, have some fun.
andy: go do whatever the kids do these days.
andy: with their crazy disco and rocket ships and killer robots
andy: we need a royal rainbox.
andy: bow.
andy: i meant bow.
andy: i'm not advocating putting anybody in a box.
andy: and i'm certainly not advocating throwing the box off a bridge.
andy: that would be murder.
--
(how lolcats have ruined america)
andy: oh god, i eated the salty ones.
amy: oh noes!
--
(when complaining about the increased traffic due to a new fancypants gym nearby)
andy: it's funny how people are always driving to the gym.
andy: I feel like there should be a remedy for this...
amy: car pooling to the gym?
andy: screw you.
--
(after discovering oscar the death cat has a canine counterpart)
amy: i wonder what happens when death dog and death cat rumble?
amy: the apocalypse?
andy: MASSIVE CNN BREAKING NEWS!!!
--
andy: i knew well enough to stay the hell away from any link
that is labled as "disturbing" by a furry.
amy: clearly i have not learned my lesson
amy: it's pretty interesting
amy: i encourage you to, um, step into this guy's world of BATFUCK CRAZY
--
andy: that tea you gave me is pretty smooth, until the last sip, where
it's all, "so you think you're tough, eh tea boy?
--
(about Mario Kart Double Dash)
andy: that game is the devil's work.
andy: all those hot video game characters with their legs wrapped
around each other, driving in their cars, doing god-knows what.
--
andy: take the day off, have some fun.
andy: go do whatever the kids do these days.
andy: with their crazy disco and rocket ships and killer robots
Sunday, August 12, 2007
"your IMs are like that death cat."
andy: your IMs are like that death cat. if you get an IM from amy, you are about to die.
amy: well, that's my cheerful thought for the week
--
andy: trust me, i know exactly how funny i am.
andy: to ten decimal places.
--
(when i asked what one of our coworkers does)
andy: imagine [our company] as some sort of large sea-dwelling mammal.
andy: and imagine cash being stored in some sort of bucket.
andy: [coworker] makes sure that we always has a bucket.
andy: and that they not be taking it.
--
amy: i think about how, 50 years from now, there will be old people in retirement homes being all like, "i can has prune juice" and then everyone will laugh and none of the young 'uns will get it
andy: that's a sad, sad thought.
andy: maybe by that time a new age of sincerity will have come about, and people will be ashamed of their lolcat love.
andy: either that or the young people will be so annoyed with us that they will push for mandatory euthanasia
--
(about scottish fold cats)
andy: would it be funny to get one of those cats and put some fake blood on its head, and then walk around with it?
andy: i say, "yes"
amy: well, that's my cheerful thought for the week
--
andy: trust me, i know exactly how funny i am.
andy: to ten decimal places.
--
(when i asked what one of our coworkers does)
andy: imagine [our company] as some sort of large sea-dwelling mammal.
andy: and imagine cash being stored in some sort of bucket.
andy: [coworker] makes sure that we always has a bucket.
andy: and that they not be taking it.
--
amy: i think about how, 50 years from now, there will be old people in retirement homes being all like, "i can has prune juice" and then everyone will laugh and none of the young 'uns will get it
andy: that's a sad, sad thought.
andy: maybe by that time a new age of sincerity will have come about, and people will be ashamed of their lolcat love.
andy: either that or the young people will be so annoyed with us that they will push for mandatory euthanasia
--
(about scottish fold cats)
andy: would it be funny to get one of those cats and put some fake blood on its head, and then walk around with it?
andy: i say, "yes"
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
you can't see it, but...
amy: you can't see it, but right now, i am doing a triumphant victory dance
amy: with your mom
--
andy: i rock old skool.
amy: old skool would be a spork
andy: if you're stabbing yourself in the eye, you aren't going for the"feel good" method.
--
amy: you know, i keep mentioning to [coworker] that when something is broken, that makes me a sad panda.
amy: but come to think of it, i don't think he gets the reference.
amy: and probably thinks i'm just crazy.
andy: all pandas are sad, and he knows it.
andy: what you don't know is that they're all sad because [coworker] is trying to kill them.
andy: he pretends ignorance to shield you from the awful truth.
amy: :-O
--
andy: is there a word for having several extended metaphors going in different IM windows, and losing track?
andy: there should be.
amy: what was that, about your contribution to the english language and kilowords?
andy: well, i'm not going to invent a new word if there's already a perfectly cromulent one.
amy: i'm afraid to think about what your other extended metaphors are.
andy: just remember that i'm a duke in the land of metaphors.
amy: i bet that just gets you laid all the time.
andy: strangely, not as often as one would expect.
--
amy: U LOSE!
andy: i fucking win.
andy: by adding "fucking", it becomes indisputable.
andy: like your mom
amy: i honestly can't argue with that.
andy: i like that sentence. it is fun to parse.
amy: with your mom
--
andy: i rock old skool.
amy: old skool would be a spork
andy: if you're stabbing yourself in the eye, you aren't going for the"feel good" method.
--
amy: you know, i keep mentioning to [coworker] that when something is broken, that makes me a sad panda.
amy: but come to think of it, i don't think he gets the reference.
amy: and probably thinks i'm just crazy.
andy: all pandas are sad, and he knows it.
andy: what you don't know is that they're all sad because [coworker] is trying to kill them.
andy: he pretends ignorance to shield you from the awful truth.
amy: :-O
--
andy: is there a word for having several extended metaphors going in different IM windows, and losing track?
andy: there should be.
amy: what was that, about your contribution to the english language and kilowords?
andy: well, i'm not going to invent a new word if there's already a perfectly cromulent one.
amy: i'm afraid to think about what your other extended metaphors are.
andy: just remember that i'm a duke in the land of metaphors.
amy: i bet that just gets you laid all the time.
andy: strangely, not as often as one would expect.
--
amy: U LOSE!
andy: i fucking win.
andy: by adding "fucking", it becomes indisputable.
andy: like your mom
amy: i honestly can't argue with that.
andy: i like that sentence. it is fun to parse.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
"Good fortune has its roots in disaster, and Pinot sales have shot through the gag wrapped over her face."
andy: it's the difference between "oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh" and "WOO WOO"
--
amy: http://foryourentertainment.blogspot.com/2007/07/oh-my.html
andy: it's always good to have a preview of your nightmares, just so you know what to expect ahead of time
--
about: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/seriously-hungr.html
andy: he's young
andy: he's had a short life
amy: who?
andy: [coworker]. he said it was the best video he had ever seen in his life.
amy: oh
amy: he obviously hasn't seen thriller.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/son-those-are-s.html
amy: this just doesn't look...right
andy: the cute overload anal fixation must end!
--
amy: [quoting coworker] "nice catch, all fix now! kthxbuy"
amy: i kind of want to point out that's not how you spell "bai"
andy: stop judging. lolcat just wants to love.
--
andy: sinsnarky.
andy: my contributions to the english language will be measured in kilowords.
amy: yes. yes they will.
--
amy: wow, the paris version of the haunted mansion has _much_ better music than the US one
andy: paris hilton has a haunted mansion?
amy: she can fit a lot in there...
andy: i was wondering where you would go with that.
amy: i meant her purse.
andy: so did i.
--
amy: i'm sure his inner hipster will weep.
andy: so will the outer hipster.
--
amy: http://foryourentertainment.blogspot.com/2007/07/oh-my.html
andy: it's always good to have a preview of your nightmares, just so you know what to expect ahead of time
--
about: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/seriously-hungr.html
andy: he's young
andy: he's had a short life
amy: who?
andy: [coworker]. he said it was the best video he had ever seen in his life.
amy: oh
amy: he obviously hasn't seen thriller.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/son-those-are-s.html
amy: this just doesn't look...right
andy: the cute overload anal fixation must end!
--
amy: [quoting coworker] "nice catch, all fix now! kthxbuy"
amy: i kind of want to point out that's not how you spell "bai"
andy: stop judging. lolcat just wants to love.
--
andy: sinsnarky.
andy: my contributions to the english language will be measured in kilowords.
amy: yes. yes they will.
--
amy: wow, the paris version of the haunted mansion has _much_ better music than the US one
andy: paris hilton has a haunted mansion?
amy: she can fit a lot in there...
andy: i was wondering where you would go with that.
amy: i meant her purse.
andy: so did i.
--
amy: i'm sure his inner hipster will weep.
andy: so will the outer hipster.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
you s'posed to be up cookin' breakfast or somethin'
amy: it's like an alarm clock!
andy: wooowooo
--
andy: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=37209062
andy: this requires headphones
andy: or not.
andy: no, you want to hear it.
andy: you really do.
amy: um
amy: kind of catchy?
andy: it's got a good beat, and i can dance to it.
andy: WHILE DRESSED LIKE A WOLF.
amy: oh god, the singing just started
andy: oh
andy: yeah, that's where it gets good.
amy: you win.
--
amy: i've been looking up php string comparators, and i keep seeing "preg_match" and "preg_quote" etc. and going "whoah!"
andy: yeah, php gets around and doesn't wear a rubber.
andy: that's why it also has a std_library
--
andy: any solution that fails to incorporate fire is only 75% of a solution.
--
andy: curl -s 'http://www.timecube.com' sed 's/<[^>]*>//g' sed 's/&[^;]*;//g' tr '\n\r' ' ' sed 's/\*\**\*/\n/g' awk '{ printrand(), $0 }' sort -n cut -d " " -f 2- head -n 1
andy: i have created the ultimate script.
amy: umm
amy: good for you.
amy: want a cookie?
--
amy: you have finally mastered the lolcat language!
andy: well, not quite. i can ask where the bathroom is, where to get a burrito, etc.
andy: i can get by.
--
regarding this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/18/BAG9JR2C201.DTL
andy: has anybody lol'd that dog from that article i sent you yesterday?
amy: no
amy: but i think you need to.
amy: "wino dog just want 1$"
andy: "i eated what the horse eated after he eated it"
--
andy: tell you what: every time you text me something, i'll just assume you added "oh snap" to the end of it.
andy: then we can save some bandwidth.
andy: wooowooo
--
andy: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=37209062
andy: this requires headphones
andy: or not.
andy: no, you want to hear it.
andy: you really do.
amy: um
amy: kind of catchy?
andy: it's got a good beat, and i can dance to it.
andy: WHILE DRESSED LIKE A WOLF.
amy: oh god, the singing just started
andy: oh
andy: yeah, that's where it gets good.
amy: you win.
--
amy: i've been looking up php string comparators, and i keep seeing "preg_match" and "preg_quote" etc. and going "whoah!"
andy: yeah, php gets around and doesn't wear a rubber.
andy: that's why it also has a std_library
--
andy: any solution that fails to incorporate fire is only 75% of a solution.
--
andy: curl -s 'http://www.timecube.com' sed 's/<[^>]*>//g' sed 's/&[^;]*;//g' tr '\n\r' ' ' sed 's/\*\**\*/\n/g' awk '{ printrand(), $0 }' sort -n cut -d " " -f 2- head -n 1
andy: i have created the ultimate script.
amy: umm
amy: good for you.
amy: want a cookie?
--
amy: you have finally mastered the lolcat language!
andy: well, not quite. i can ask where the bathroom is, where to get a burrito, etc.
andy: i can get by.
--
regarding this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/18/BAG9JR2C201.DTL
andy: has anybody lol'd that dog from that article i sent you yesterday?
amy: no
amy: but i think you need to.
amy: "wino dog just want 1$"
andy: "i eated what the horse eated after he eated it"
--
andy: tell you what: every time you text me something, i'll just assume you added "oh snap" to the end of it.
andy: then we can save some bandwidth.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
ohhhh snap.
amy: ohhhh snap
andy: do i need to tell you how awesome it looks when you "ohhh snap" yourself over im?
andy: that's why god invented BOLD AND CAPS LOCK
amy: OHHHHH SNAP!!1
amy: better?
andy: i like the fact that you hit the keys extra hard to make that.
amy: i hit your mom extra hard last night.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/07/03/u-think-we-share-2-much/
andy: now that's funny.
amy: every time a lolcat makes someone laugh, an angel gets its wings
amy: on the flip side of that coin, every time a lolcat fails to make someone laugh, god kills a kitten
amy: frankly, they're in a battle for very cat survival
--
amy: i'm torn between chipotle or "the real man's burrito"
amy: um.
amy: shit.
amy: i meant la bamba.
--
amy: is he actually following?
andy: maybe not, but i'm trying to develop better habits.
andy: like your mom, when she dresses up like a nun.
--
andy: this sounds complicated. i just want to shoot a burrito at [coworker]
amy: burrito gun?
andy: we prefer the term "cannon" in the burrito projectile business.
--
andy: wrt our penguin eating discussion:http://www.sfgate.com/n/pictures/2007/07/10/penguin1.jpg
amy: i hear penguin breast meat is the best. penguin legs are small, and not all that meaty.
andy: like your mom?
andy: sorry, that one was pretty cheap.
andy: like your mom.
amy: first rule of your mom: never apologize!
amy: your mom certainly didn't.
andy: you beat me to it.
andy: like your mom did last night.
andy: this is going to be bad, isn't it?
--
andy: http://www.pliantsoftware.ws/botchallengesetup.asmx?wsdl
andy: should be wsdl, right?
andy: and yet . . .
amy: that certainly explains why the web service tests aren't working.
andy: yep.
amy: yep.
andy: do i need to tell you how awesome it looks when you "ohhh snap" yourself over im?
andy: that's why god invented BOLD AND CAPS LOCK
amy: OHHHHH SNAP!!1
amy: better?
andy: i like the fact that you hit the keys extra hard to make that.
amy: i hit your mom extra hard last night.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/07/03/u-think-we-share-2-much/
andy: now that's funny.
amy: every time a lolcat makes someone laugh, an angel gets its wings
amy: on the flip side of that coin, every time a lolcat fails to make someone laugh, god kills a kitten
amy: frankly, they're in a battle for very cat survival
--
amy: i'm torn between chipotle or "the real man's burrito"
amy: um.
amy: shit.
amy: i meant la bamba.
--
amy: is he actually following?
andy: maybe not, but i'm trying to develop better habits.
andy: like your mom, when she dresses up like a nun.
--
andy: this sounds complicated. i just want to shoot a burrito at [coworker]
amy: burrito gun?
andy: we prefer the term "cannon" in the burrito projectile business.
--
andy: wrt our penguin eating discussion:http://www.sfgate.com/n/pictures/2007/07/10/penguin1.jpg
amy: i hear penguin breast meat is the best. penguin legs are small, and not all that meaty.
andy: like your mom?
andy: sorry, that one was pretty cheap.
andy: like your mom.
amy: first rule of your mom: never apologize!
amy: your mom certainly didn't.
andy: you beat me to it.
andy: like your mom did last night.
andy: this is going to be bad, isn't it?
--
andy: http://www.pliantsoftware.ws/botchallengesetup.asmx?wsdl
andy: should be wsdl, right?
andy: and yet . . .
amy: that certainly explains why the web service tests aren't working.
andy: yep.
amy: yep.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
it has been an epic battle over...your mom
I would almost regret the challenge I made last week, but it's been hilarious. And now our coworkers are getting in on this hottt action...with his mom...last night...yeah...
(And I'm not gonna lie: he's winning. He even went so far as to temporarily disable a machine I was working with and rewrite the startup scripts to spit out "I restarted your mom last night." That made my week, right there. And, apparently, my mom's, as well.)
--
amy: it's like taunting monkeys
amy: except i don't get feces thrown at me
(pause)
amy: (unlike your mom, last night)
andy: blah
andy: it's like some sort of duel, where we're both eyeing eachother, wondering if the other person is going to go.
--
andy: hey do you know anything about this file i found on my computer?
andy: public_html/your_mom.html
amy: um, i might have put that there?
andy: yeah, well, it looks like the permissions are set up so that everybody can read/write/execute.
--
andy: this can only end in a race to the bottom, you know.
andy: i'm just making sure you know, before i put on my lead boots.
andy: because once i put those things on, it's tough to get them off.
andy: kind of like your mom.
--
andy: http://mparent7777-2.blogspot.com/2007/07/dick-john-cheney-on-her-list-too.html
andy: my questions are:
andy: 1. what kind of inhuman soul would be capable of sex with dick cheney?
andy: 2. what did he and your mom talk about afterwards?
amy:
1. may god have mercy on their souls
2. the previous night, which they'd both spent with your mom.
andy: not bad, not bad.
--
andy: void yourMom(){
while(1) {
// do nothing in this loop, 'cause your mom is dumb
}
}
amy: lastNight(cons me your_mom)
--
(And I'm not gonna lie: he's winning. He even went so far as to temporarily disable a machine I was working with and rewrite the startup scripts to spit out "I restarted your mom last night." That made my week, right there. And, apparently, my mom's, as well.)
--
amy: it's like taunting monkeys
amy: except i don't get feces thrown at me
(pause)
amy: (unlike your mom, last night)
andy: blah
andy: it's like some sort of duel, where we're both eyeing eachother, wondering if the other person is going to go.
--
andy: hey do you know anything about this file i found on my computer?
andy: public_html/your_mom.html
amy: um, i might have put that there?
andy: yeah, well, it looks like the permissions are set up so that everybody can read/write/execute.
--
andy: this can only end in a race to the bottom, you know.
andy: i'm just making sure you know, before i put on my lead boots.
andy: because once i put those things on, it's tough to get them off.
andy: kind of like your mom.
--
andy: http://mparent7777-2.blogspot.com/2007/07/dick-john-cheney-on-her-list-too.html
andy: my questions are:
andy: 1. what kind of inhuman soul would be capable of sex with dick cheney?
andy: 2. what did he and your mom talk about afterwards?
amy:
1. may god have mercy on their souls
2. the previous night, which they'd both spent with your mom.
andy: not bad, not bad.
--
andy: void yourMom(){
while(1) {
// do nothing in this loop, 'cause your mom is dumb
}
}
amy: lastNight(cons me your_mom)
--
Sunday, July 1, 2007
let's be honest, here
amy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_meat_animals
andy: any list like that that excludes penguin is automatically suspect.
amy: who the hell eats a penguin?
andy: let's be honest here. who doesn't?
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/06/26/giant.penguin/index.html
andy: GIANT FUCKING PENGUINS!!!
andy: you could eat for a month off one of those
amy: GIANT CELIBATE PENGUINS!!!
amy: i bet that's why they're so small, today.
andy: good point
--
amy: i am full of good points.
amy: they ooze from my pores.
amy: pretty bad for the skin, actually.
andy: well, that was an image
amy: i am full of those, too.
--
amy: [coworker] just made a "your mom" joke, i think
amy: i'm not surprised, but i'm glad _someone_ is taking up the slack.
andy: sorry, i'll work harder.
andy: on your mom.
--
amy: ok, now this is just ridiculously cute!
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/26/bunway-airlines-is-now-landing/
andy: rabbit ass.
amy: cuteoverload would call them, "fuzzy bunny tocks"
amy: in retrospect, i think that site has desensitized me to the sight of the asses of cute animals
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/blogs/marquee/2007/06/farkcom-and-voice-of-reason.html
andy: cnn talks about fark.
andy: meta head explosion.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/28/all-i-can-say-is-dat-my-life-is-pretty-plain/(
andy: what kind of sick fuck makes bee outfits for cats?
amy: these people: http://www.costumesinc.com/pet_costumes_costumes_for_your_dog_costumes.cfm
amy: and these people: http://www.anniescostumes.com/pet.htm
amy: and these people: http://www.costumecraze.com/Traditional-Costumes-Halloween-Costumes-Halloween-Costumes-for-Pets.html
andy: sick sick sick.
amy: and these people: http://www.i-pets.com/cat_costumes.html
andy: just stop.
amy: heh.
andy: any list like that that excludes penguin is automatically suspect.
amy: who the hell eats a penguin?
andy: let's be honest here. who doesn't?
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/06/26/giant.penguin/index.html
andy: GIANT FUCKING PENGUINS!!!
andy: you could eat for a month off one of those
amy: GIANT CELIBATE PENGUINS!!!
amy: i bet that's why they're so small, today.
andy: good point
--
amy: i am full of good points.
amy: they ooze from my pores.
amy: pretty bad for the skin, actually.
andy: well, that was an image
amy: i am full of those, too.
--
amy: [coworker] just made a "your mom" joke, i think
amy: i'm not surprised, but i'm glad _someone_ is taking up the slack.
andy: sorry, i'll work harder.
andy: on your mom.
--
amy: ok, now this is just ridiculously cute!
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/26/bunway-airlines-is-now-landing/
andy: rabbit ass.
amy: cuteoverload would call them, "fuzzy bunny tocks"
amy: in retrospect, i think that site has desensitized me to the sight of the asses of cute animals
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/blogs/marquee/2007/06/farkcom-and-voice-of-reason.html
andy: cnn talks about fark.
andy: meta head explosion.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/28/all-i-can-say-is-dat-my-life-is-pretty-plain/(
andy: what kind of sick fuck makes bee outfits for cats?
amy: these people: http://www.costumesinc.com/pet_costumes_costumes_for_your_dog_costumes.cfm
amy: and these people: http://www.anniescostumes.com/pet.htm
amy: and these people: http://www.costumecraze.com/Traditional-Costumes-Halloween-Costumes-Halloween-Costumes-for-Pets.html
andy: sick sick sick.
amy: and these people: http://www.i-pets.com/cat_costumes.html
andy: just stop.
amy: heh.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
welcome to another episode of...
amy: "When bad puns fail over instant messenger!"
andy: fuck that, my pun was officially awesome.
--
amy: sometimes i think i want to marry a burrito, and have little burrito babies
amy: but then that takes me into new and unfamiliar territories, like, WTF? and cannibalism
amy: and i'm just not ready to go there, not yet.
andy: i'm glad you've spent some time thinking this one through.
andy: it would be unfortunate to run with the intial idea and then regret it later.
--
amy: sometimes i wonder, which came first: slapstick comedy or leprosy?
andy: i think they co-evolved.
amy: and now i am going to reflect on how i am going to hell for making that joke.
--
amy: he sleeps on a pile of money?
andy: well, that wasn't stated explicitly, but do you know anyone who wouldn't if they could?
andy: sometimes i pull all my money out of the bank in pennies for a weekend, and sleep on that.
--
andy: sucks to have your final act overshadowed by the fact that you died. the best you can hope for is to combine the two, like being eaten by a shark.
andy: failing that, being killed by an out-of-control dragster in the south probably works, too.
--
amy: ooh, i'm excited. i like naming things.
amy: that's like, the most exciting thing about children.
amy: (it's all downhill after that)
andy: living the adamite dream.
andy: and you don't even have to lose a rib.
--
andy: MAKE_ROCKET_GO!
amy: I_CAN_HAS_ROCKET?
amy: INVISIBLE_ROCKET_OH_NOES
--
andy: that's like, 53 button presses on a cellphone.
amy: unless you are a text ninja
andy: being a text ninja is like being a light switch ninja.
amy: i hear those light switch ninjas get all the girls, though.
--
amy: http://youtube.com/watch?v=q3M2X4ZAH_w
andy: at some point, a musician has to ask himself, "Will playing my instrument faster get me laid more often?" at some point the amount of effort going into playing faster vastly outstrips the amount of effort going into getting laid.
andy: this guys went past that sweet spot years ago and never looked back.
amy: this is the part where i feel like i should say "i'd hit that,"but really, i wouldn't.
andy: i would just assume you meant "hit it with my car"
amy: his perm is really nice?
--
andy: i'm not sure what sound my brain makes when it wakes up.
andy: probably a whimper.
--
andy: i want to make the sound of a balloon deflating.
andy: (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
andy: softly
--
andy: I am going to leave you with one thought: LOLcatapults.
andy: and now I am going to leave.
andy: fuck that, my pun was officially awesome.
--
amy: sometimes i think i want to marry a burrito, and have little burrito babies
amy: but then that takes me into new and unfamiliar territories, like, WTF? and cannibalism
amy: and i'm just not ready to go there, not yet.
andy: i'm glad you've spent some time thinking this one through.
andy: it would be unfortunate to run with the intial idea and then regret it later.
--
amy: sometimes i wonder, which came first: slapstick comedy or leprosy?
andy: i think they co-evolved.
amy: and now i am going to reflect on how i am going to hell for making that joke.
--
amy: he sleeps on a pile of money?
andy: well, that wasn't stated explicitly, but do you know anyone who wouldn't if they could?
andy: sometimes i pull all my money out of the bank in pennies for a weekend, and sleep on that.
--
andy: sucks to have your final act overshadowed by the fact that you died. the best you can hope for is to combine the two, like being eaten by a shark.
andy: failing that, being killed by an out-of-control dragster in the south probably works, too.
--
amy: ooh, i'm excited. i like naming things.
amy: that's like, the most exciting thing about children.
amy: (it's all downhill after that)
andy: living the adamite dream.
andy: and you don't even have to lose a rib.
--
andy: MAKE_ROCKET_GO!
amy: I_CAN_HAS_ROCKET?
amy: INVISIBLE_ROCKET_OH_NOES
--
andy: that's like, 53 button presses on a cellphone.
amy: unless you are a text ninja
andy: being a text ninja is like being a light switch ninja.
amy: i hear those light switch ninjas get all the girls, though.
--
amy: http://youtube.com/watch?v=q3M2X4ZAH_w
andy: at some point, a musician has to ask himself, "Will playing my instrument faster get me laid more often?" at some point the amount of effort going into playing faster vastly outstrips the amount of effort going into getting laid.
andy: this guys went past that sweet spot years ago and never looked back.
amy: this is the part where i feel like i should say "i'd hit that,"but really, i wouldn't.
andy: i would just assume you meant "hit it with my car"
amy: his perm is really nice?
--
andy: i'm not sure what sound my brain makes when it wakes up.
andy: probably a whimper.
--
andy: i want to make the sound of a balloon deflating.
andy: (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
andy: softly
--
andy: I am going to leave you with one thought: LOLcatapults.
andy: and now I am going to leave.
Friday, June 15, 2007
oh yes, she did
andy: hey, what's the difference between the [current #] patch and a horse?
amy: umm?
andy: your mom didn't install the patch today.
--
andy: i'm here to suck the fun out of life
--
andy: the gods have turned their backs to us. we are on our own, and we are hungry.
--
andy: plastic is yummy in my tummy.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/06/whateverrrrrrr.html
andy: whatever dog has pooped in your cup.
andy: whatcha gonna do about it?
--
andy: that was tasteful.
andy: it tasted like the dust that floats in the air of an old basement after you . . .
andy: crap
--
amy: everyone's snarky today
andy: snark time.
andy: snark attack.
andy: land snark.
andy: jump the snark.
amy: snarks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!
amy: oh yes, i just won that exchange.
andy: nah, i just stopped playing.
--
andy: can't sleep, clown'll get me.
--
amy: so should i cry this time?
andy: i think we're beyond that point.
amy: ooh, time to bring in the elite ninja squadron of death?
andy: they're out back smoking. i want to tell them to get ready, but, well, they kind of scare me. i'll let them finish.
--
andy: i'm sure i can find some sort of software development book that has a fancy term for that.
amy: poopification?
andy: that's the general term for software development.
--
andy: http://thepeacock.com
andy: It's the new Time Cube.
amy: umm?
andy: your mom didn't install the patch today.
--
andy: i'm here to suck the fun out of life
--
andy: the gods have turned their backs to us. we are on our own, and we are hungry.
--
andy: plastic is yummy in my tummy.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/06/whateverrrrrrr.html
andy: whatever dog has pooped in your cup.
andy: whatcha gonna do about it?
--
andy: that was tasteful.
andy: it tasted like the dust that floats in the air of an old basement after you . . .
andy: crap
--
amy: everyone's snarky today
andy: snark time.
andy: snark attack.
andy: land snark.
andy: jump the snark.
amy: snarks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!
amy: oh yes, i just won that exchange.
andy: nah, i just stopped playing.
--
andy: can't sleep, clown'll get me.
--
amy: so should i cry this time?
andy: i think we're beyond that point.
amy: ooh, time to bring in the elite ninja squadron of death?
andy: they're out back smoking. i want to tell them to get ready, but, well, they kind of scare me. i'll let them finish.
--
andy: i'm sure i can find some sort of software development book that has a fancy term for that.
amy: poopification?
andy: that's the general term for software development.
--
andy: http://thepeacock.com
andy: It's the new Time Cube.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
an unprecedented midweek post!
Because we're just rolling in the funny this week.
--
andy: they're always out to get my lucky charms
--
andy: let's wait until it's perfect.
amy: nobody likes a perfectionist.
andy: that would explain the horse's head.
--
andy: did you know that the disciples of the buddha are traditionally portrayed carrying a gem-spitting mongoose that symbolizes spiritual wealth?
andy: i learned that this weekend.
amy: begs the question of, what comes out of the other end of the mongoose?
andy: crackers?
--
andy: they played WoW all weekend. i didn't wear spandex once. game point: andy.
--
andy: eating through part of yourself != cute
--
about Jackass:
andy: of course he goes with the camera crew.
andy: otherwise it would be called "stories that knoxville makes up and expects us to believe"
--
andy: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/staticarticles/article56107.html
andy: the conservative christian embrace of irony is complete.
andy: they are in your memes, coopting your voice of rebellion
--
andy: all these layers of stomach-kicking indirection.
andy: at some point i feel we're losing sight of the true meaning of christmas.
--
about the Hasselhoff:
andy: the hoff is music in motion. i imagine his whole life as some sort of musical.
amy: he began his life as one of the van der trapp children in "the sound of music"
andy: yeah, that's pretty much how the story goes in my head.
andy: ledderhose and such.
amy: then he discovered KITT in the wilds of the alps...
andy: the image of a young german boy eating chocolate and coming across a Trans-Am in an alpine meadow has just made my week.
--
about Star Trek TNG:
amy: the only thing that has changed about my love of star trek over the years is which character i think is hottest
andy: girlish longings for riker replaced by womanly attention to data?
amy: riker was never really my type
andy: but there are so many of him to love.
andy: skinny riker.
andy: fat riker.
andy: bearded riker.
andy: pederast-looking riker.
amy: once i became fond of dorks, geordi really grew on me.
andy: yeah, it also helped that he calmed down later in the series.
andy: you watch the first season, and you think he probably goes down and has sex with the anti-matter containment unit when nobody is around.
andy: maybe he did, and they had a falling out. I mean, the AMCU was definitely a mod, and he was more of a rocker.
andy: data was always fly.
amy: yeah, i definitely liked data in my experienced, older man phase
amy: all few minutes of it
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/12/lolcat-alignright/
andy: i must have non-standards compliant lolcat browser. nothing was specified for "type", but they were displayed as type="kitten".
--
amy: everybody dance now?
andy: quick to the point to the point no fakin'
andy: cookin' m.c.'s like a pound of bacon.
andy: burning 'em, yeah i'm quick and nimble
andy: i go crazy when i hear a cymbal.
amy: now that you mention it, there is a certain resemblance between you and vanilla ice
--
andy: if [andy's last name] was a drug i'd sell it by the gram.
amy: would it kill people like that "cheese heroin" i keep seeing on CNN?
andy: if you're trying to get me to look at CNN just so that i can see paris again, good luck.
andy: i'm not falling for that crap.
andy: it's like goatse at this point.
amy: i saw that on CNN today, too
--
andy: i see that http://www.keeperofthegoatse.com/ is not registered.
andy: it would be a clearinghouse for all goatse pictures.
andy: "how would you find goatse pictures?" you ask.
andy: i would have people submit them.
andy: "how would you know they were real goatse pictures, and not just pictures of dogs being eaten by squirrels?"
andy: i would have another site called http://www.goatseornotgoatse.com/, where people would vote on the submissions, deciding whether they are goatse or not.
--
upon discovering http://omg.yahoo.com/
amy: OMG is not freaking open source
andy: wow, yahoo just pissed on my face.
--
andy: they're always out to get my lucky charms
--
andy: let's wait until it's perfect.
amy: nobody likes a perfectionist.
andy: that would explain the horse's head.
--
andy: did you know that the disciples of the buddha are traditionally portrayed carrying a gem-spitting mongoose that symbolizes spiritual wealth?
andy: i learned that this weekend.
amy: begs the question of, what comes out of the other end of the mongoose?
andy: crackers?
--
andy: they played WoW all weekend. i didn't wear spandex once. game point: andy.
--
andy: eating through part of yourself != cute
--
about Jackass:
andy: of course he goes with the camera crew.
andy: otherwise it would be called "stories that knoxville makes up and expects us to believe"
--
andy: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/staticarticles/article56107.html
andy: the conservative christian embrace of irony is complete.
andy: they are in your memes, coopting your voice of rebellion
--
andy: all these layers of stomach-kicking indirection.
andy: at some point i feel we're losing sight of the true meaning of christmas.
--
about the Hasselhoff:
andy: the hoff is music in motion. i imagine his whole life as some sort of musical.
amy: he began his life as one of the van der trapp children in "the sound of music"
andy: yeah, that's pretty much how the story goes in my head.
andy: ledderhose and such.
amy: then he discovered KITT in the wilds of the alps...
andy: the image of a young german boy eating chocolate and coming across a Trans-Am in an alpine meadow has just made my week.
--
about Star Trek TNG:
amy: the only thing that has changed about my love of star trek over the years is which character i think is hottest
andy: girlish longings for riker replaced by womanly attention to data?
amy: riker was never really my type
andy: but there are so many of him to love.
andy: skinny riker.
andy: fat riker.
andy: bearded riker.
andy: pederast-looking riker.
amy: once i became fond of dorks, geordi really grew on me.
andy: yeah, it also helped that he calmed down later in the series.
andy: you watch the first season, and you think he probably goes down and has sex with the anti-matter containment unit when nobody is around.
andy: maybe he did, and they had a falling out. I mean, the AMCU was definitely a mod, and he was more of a rocker.
andy: data was always fly.
amy: yeah, i definitely liked data in my experienced, older man phase
amy: all few minutes of it
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/12/lolcat-alignright/
andy: i must have non-standards compliant lolcat browser. nothing was specified for "type", but they were displayed as type="kitten".
--
amy: everybody dance now?
andy: quick to the point to the point no fakin'
andy: cookin' m.c.'s like a pound of bacon.
andy: burning 'em, yeah i'm quick and nimble
andy: i go crazy when i hear a cymbal.
amy: now that you mention it, there is a certain resemblance between you and vanilla ice
--
andy: if [andy's last name] was a drug i'd sell it by the gram.
amy: would it kill people like that "cheese heroin" i keep seeing on CNN?
andy: if you're trying to get me to look at CNN just so that i can see paris again, good luck.
andy: i'm not falling for that crap.
andy: it's like goatse at this point.
amy: i saw that on CNN today, too
--
andy: i see that http://www.keeperofthegoatse.com/ is not registered.
andy: it would be a clearinghouse for all goatse pictures.
andy: "how would you find goatse pictures?" you ask.
andy: i would have people submit them.
andy: "how would you know they were real goatse pictures, and not just pictures of dogs being eaten by squirrels?"
andy: i would have another site called http://www.goatseornotgoatse.com/, where people would vote on the submissions, deciding whether they are goatse or not.
--
upon discovering http://omg.yahoo.com/
amy: OMG is not freaking open source
andy: wow, yahoo just pissed on my face.
Friday, June 8, 2007
would you believe we talked about mostly work this week?
amy: what pairs well with whiskey, do you think?
andy: hipsters?
--
andy: if i had a stone for every good idea that was stopped by cat semen, i could build myself one hell of a wall.
--
andy: i'll go get the pixie dust.
--
amy: http://engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=jews-ear-fungus.jpg&category=CHINGLISH&date=2007-05-29
amy: i don't know what to make of that
andy: i'm just glad i will no longer have to slave over the stove to make jew's ears for my family.
--
andy: all i'm saying is that i'm still not sure where two bikes and 4 pairs of spandex shorts puts me on the dork-meter.
andy: i mean, yeah, i could spend my weekend soliciting sex on the internet from people pretending to be horses.
--
andy: ok, that's it. i'm never going to cnn.com again unless somebody sends me a link and promises that it has nothing to do with paris hilton.
amy: http://www.cnn.com/, i promise it has nothing to do with paris hilton
amy: oh, wait
andy: damn you.
--
andy: do you think they could graft a cellphone into a kitten's back?
andy: it looks more comfortable than trying to hold my phone up to my ear.
andy: i mean, get rid of the claws and all.
andy: hipsters?
--
andy: if i had a stone for every good idea that was stopped by cat semen, i could build myself one hell of a wall.
--
andy: i'll go get the pixie dust.
--
amy: http://engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=jews-ear-fungus.jpg&category=CHINGLISH&date=2007-05-29
amy: i don't know what to make of that
andy: i'm just glad i will no longer have to slave over the stove to make jew's ears for my family.
--
andy: all i'm saying is that i'm still not sure where two bikes and 4 pairs of spandex shorts puts me on the dork-meter.
andy: i mean, yeah, i could spend my weekend soliciting sex on the internet from people pretending to be horses.
--
andy: ok, that's it. i'm never going to cnn.com again unless somebody sends me a link and promises that it has nothing to do with paris hilton.
amy: http://www.cnn.com/, i promise it has nothing to do with paris hilton
amy: oh, wait
andy: damn you.
--
andy: do you think they could graft a cellphone into a kitten's back?
andy: it looks more comfortable than trying to hold my phone up to my ear.
andy: i mean, get rid of the claws and all.
Friday, June 1, 2007
andy: our swords clashed, and there were sparks.
amy: i wonder what the application of "oh lol" would be in lolcode?
andy: generic recursion.
amy: meh
amy: not good enough
amy: i want puppies to fall from the sky or something when i use "oh lol"
amy: and lest you get the wrong idea, they will have parachutes
andy: parachutes of death!!!
amy: you are an odd vegetarian.
andy: i just really hate vegetables.
amy: yeah, i bet that'll teach them a lesson
--
amy: yeah, yeah, that is what my gender does: rant and nag.
andy: did you just sell women out? because that was awesome.
amy: yep. someone's got to counterbalance the feminists.
[pause]
andy: remember that time you kicked feminism in the stomach?
--
amy: i need to develop my hobbies
amy: this lolcat thing is getting old
andy: inappropriate captions of pictures of the pope?
amy: has no one lolcatted the man yet?
andy: lol != inappropriate.
amy: i dunno, i think FOX has my back if i disagree with that statement
andy: fair enough
--
amy: http://littledemocrats.net/
andy: sometimes i want to punch a lot of people at the same time.
andy: but since i can only punch in a serial manner, I'll start withwhoever drew the picture on the cover.
--
amy: http://www.xmethods.net/ve2/ViewListing.po?key=uuid:2A84F5D4-7736-0C2B-C51D-E3D9AC53D641
amy: what i like is that there is a "Death Master File"
andy: i am become death, destroyer of SANDWICHES!!!
amy: sounds like an exciting business card
andy: is this web service like the ring, where i'll die in three days if i don't show it to somebody else?
andy: wait, is that why you showed it to me?
andy: shit.
amy: you have caught on to my staying-alive pyramid scheme
amy: sorry man, but i do what i gotta do
--
andy: that picture is six kinds of awesome.
amy: i don't think he did that protest the right way
andy: "To make it more palatable, the corgi was turned into meat balls and served with salad."
andy: more palatable than, say, boiled corgi?
andy: i mean, he is british.
amy: meatballs are gross. grilled corgi is obviously the way to go.
andy: i'm thinking about it, and i can't come up with a good caption for a guy eating a dog.
amy: sounds like a personal problem.
--
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/05/30/cheetah.infidelity.reut/index.html
amy: i'm surprised CNN didn't just skip to "female cheetas are a bunch of sluts"
amy: for a headline
andy: nah, they'd go with "cheetas are cheaters" or something like that.
--
andy: everybody knows .duck files are only used by the killing robots.
andy: and trust me, the get pissed if non-killing robots (or non-robots) use them.
amy: i thought robots used .humans-must-die
andy: they do that, too.
andy: they're sneaky.
--
amy: i'll take 'em down
andy: we'll go rent rambo tonight and watch it.
amy: awesome.
amy: the hulk knows how to get shit done
amy: er, hulk hogan, i mean
amy: well, sort of.
andy: he knows well enough.
--
andy: sometimes you're on a roll.
andy: you just have to keep going with what you've got.
amy: and sometimes you're soft cell and make a song called "sex dwarf"?
--
amy: for a SF fan, i do a pretty shitty job of watching their movies.
andy: you just hate god.
amy: nah, i just hate his taste in movies
amy: and beer
andy: touche.
--
andy: http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/usb-pole-dancer-220912.php
andy: so, we have the british prudes to thank for giving us this.
amy: i bet she has crooked teeth
--
andy: you can be certain that god has abandoned your city when the hipster undead are seen.
amy: emo zombies cry because someone broke their heart...after ripping it out of their chest
andy: poor emo zombies.
--
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/05/23/coca.cola.sentencing/index.html
andy: wtf is wrong with Joya Williams' face?
andy: did drinking coke do that to him?
amy: it apparently started to transform her into a dog
andy: rather unfortunate.
amy: and here i thought only radiation could do that
amy: but maybe it's coke
amy: or maybe coke has radiation
andy: so is the secret recipe just the ratio of cron syrup to carbonated water?
andy: er . . . corn, not cron.
andy: fucking unix.
--
amy: no nintendogs for me
amy: which is probably a good thing, if the plants on my desk have anything to say about it
andy: the plants don't lick your face.
amy: if the DS nintendogs lick my face, then i think i've got bigger problems than dying plants
andy: ok, true.
andy: but they could at least pretend.
andy: your plant isn't doing any pretending.
andy: unless it's just "playing" dead.
--
andy: attachments are fleeting . . .
andy: be a leaf on the wind.
amy: as i recall, that got someone killed
andy: yeah, but everybody else lived. go on, take one for the team.
--
andy: I AM CURRENTLY IN YOUR CHEEZBURGER DEGRADING THE QUALITY OF YOUR FUNNY
andy: new idea:
andy: VIMM = vomitted in my mouth
andy: VIMMCATS
amy: ...
andy: generic recursion.
amy: meh
amy: not good enough
amy: i want puppies to fall from the sky or something when i use "oh lol"
amy: and lest you get the wrong idea, they will have parachutes
andy: parachutes of death!!!
amy: you are an odd vegetarian.
andy: i just really hate vegetables.
amy: yeah, i bet that'll teach them a lesson
--
amy: yeah, yeah, that is what my gender does: rant and nag.
andy: did you just sell women out? because that was awesome.
amy: yep. someone's got to counterbalance the feminists.
[pause]
andy: remember that time you kicked feminism in the stomach?
--
amy: i need to develop my hobbies
amy: this lolcat thing is getting old
andy: inappropriate captions of pictures of the pope?
amy: has no one lolcatted the man yet?
andy: lol != inappropriate.
amy: i dunno, i think FOX has my back if i disagree with that statement
andy: fair enough
--
amy: http://littledemocrats.net/
andy: sometimes i want to punch a lot of people at the same time.
andy: but since i can only punch in a serial manner, I'll start withwhoever drew the picture on the cover.
--
amy: http://www.xmethods.net/ve2/ViewListing.po?key=uuid:2A84F5D4-7736-0C2B-C51D-E3D9AC53D641
amy: what i like is that there is a "Death Master File"
andy: i am become death, destroyer of SANDWICHES!!!
amy: sounds like an exciting business card
andy: is this web service like the ring, where i'll die in three days if i don't show it to somebody else?
andy: wait, is that why you showed it to me?
andy: shit.
amy: you have caught on to my staying-alive pyramid scheme
amy: sorry man, but i do what i gotta do
--
andy: that picture is six kinds of awesome.
amy: i don't think he did that protest the right way
andy: "To make it more palatable, the corgi was turned into meat balls and served with salad."
andy: more palatable than, say, boiled corgi?
andy: i mean, he is british.
amy: meatballs are gross. grilled corgi is obviously the way to go.
andy: i'm thinking about it, and i can't come up with a good caption for a guy eating a dog.
amy: sounds like a personal problem.
--
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/05/30/cheetah.infidelity.reut/index.html
amy: i'm surprised CNN didn't just skip to "female cheetas are a bunch of sluts"
amy: for a headline
andy: nah, they'd go with "cheetas are cheaters" or something like that.
--
andy: everybody knows .duck files are only used by the killing robots.
andy: and trust me, the get pissed if non-killing robots (or non-robots) use them.
amy: i thought robots used .humans-must-die
andy: they do that, too.
andy: they're sneaky.
--
amy: i'll take 'em down
andy: we'll go rent rambo tonight and watch it.
amy: awesome.
amy: the hulk knows how to get shit done
amy: er, hulk hogan, i mean
amy: well, sort of.
andy: he knows well enough.
--
andy: sometimes you're on a roll.
andy: you just have to keep going with what you've got.
amy: and sometimes you're soft cell and make a song called "sex dwarf"?
--
amy: for a SF fan, i do a pretty shitty job of watching their movies.
andy: you just hate god.
amy: nah, i just hate his taste in movies
amy: and beer
andy: touche.
--
andy: http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/usb-pole-dancer-220912.php
andy: so, we have the british prudes to thank for giving us this.
amy: i bet she has crooked teeth
--
andy: you can be certain that god has abandoned your city when the hipster undead are seen.
amy: emo zombies cry because someone broke their heart...after ripping it out of their chest
andy: poor emo zombies.
--
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/05/23/coca.cola.sentencing/index.html
andy: wtf is wrong with Joya Williams' face?
andy: did drinking coke do that to him?
amy: it apparently started to transform her into a dog
andy: rather unfortunate.
amy: and here i thought only radiation could do that
amy: but maybe it's coke
amy: or maybe coke has radiation
andy: so is the secret recipe just the ratio of cron syrup to carbonated water?
andy: er . . . corn, not cron.
andy: fucking unix.
--
amy: no nintendogs for me
amy: which is probably a good thing, if the plants on my desk have anything to say about it
andy: the plants don't lick your face.
amy: if the DS nintendogs lick my face, then i think i've got bigger problems than dying plants
andy: ok, true.
andy: but they could at least pretend.
andy: your plant isn't doing any pretending.
andy: unless it's just "playing" dead.
--
andy: attachments are fleeting . . .
andy: be a leaf on the wind.
amy: as i recall, that got someone killed
andy: yeah, but everybody else lived. go on, take one for the team.
--
andy: I AM CURRENTLY IN YOUR CHEEZBURGER DEGRADING THE QUALITY OF YOUR FUNNY
andy: new idea:
andy: VIMM = vomitted in my mouth
andy: VIMMCATS
amy: ...
Monday, May 21, 2007
not as funny this week
andy: cnn is fark with suits
--
amy: so, have you happened to see ukraine's entry into the eurovision song contest?
andy: um . . . no
amy: http://youtube.com/watch?v=jnV7Nydf9L4
amy: your world is about to be rocked.
amy: well, "rock" may be the wrong word.
amy: i'll leave it up to you to come up with a more appropriate word...
andy: i hate you.
--
amy: so, have you happened to see ukraine's entry into the eurovision song contest?
andy: um . . . no
amy: http://youtube.com/watch?v=jnV7Nydf9L4
amy: your world is about to be rocked.
amy: well, "rock" may be the wrong word.
amy: i'll leave it up to you to come up with a more appropriate word...
andy: i hate you.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
slowly losing context
andy: http://youtube.com/watch?v=AyNBtOgMDBk
amy: this is genius
amy: frighteningly so
amy: i'd say "we need to get this out there, onto the internets!"
amy: but it seems like someone has already beaten us to it
andy: in medieval times, the monks who controlled the books believed that too much knowledge in the hands of the masses would be dangerous. at the risk of sounding like an elitist, i don't think the general public can handle the bubb rubb of time.
andy: also, Evil Educated "Singularity" Stupid - ignores the Cubic Wisdom of Wisest Human and The Greatest Thinker.
--
amy: look! a puppy butterfly!
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/03/real_papillon.jpg
andy: wow. that's a hell of a thing to do to a dog.
amy: it's so cute it makes me hurt a little inside
andy: looking at that picture, I'm trying to figure out what's going on. I think it's supposed to be a dog with butterfly wings. But maybe it's a dog being devoured by a giant butterfly.
andy: the butterfly is digging into the dog's brain, and that face the dog is making is the final act of accepting its fate.
amy: ...
amy: you suck.
--
andy: wouldn't it be awesome if slashfood was just a bunch of dirty stories about food getting it on?
andy: i mean, awesome in a "freak show" way, not awesome in a "subscribe to the RSS" way
--
amy: you're missing our funny running commentary on your bug
andy: we seem to have conflicting definitions of the word "missing".
--
amy: we ought to make a list of "stuff we'd kick in the balls if we theoretically could"
andy: let's just say the list includes everything, and have the actual list be a list of things we wouldn't kick in the balls.
andy: that list would be shorter, I think.
--
amy: LOL
amy: (man, one of these days i'm actually going to laugh out loud, rather than, you know, using the internet shorthand for it)
andy: i've heard you snicker.
andy: SOL.
andy: er . . . maybe not.
--
andy: i'm too pretty to shit in a bucket.
amy: this is genius
amy: frighteningly so
amy: i'd say "we need to get this out there, onto the internets!"
amy: but it seems like someone has already beaten us to it
andy: in medieval times, the monks who controlled the books believed that too much knowledge in the hands of the masses would be dangerous. at the risk of sounding like an elitist, i don't think the general public can handle the bubb rubb of time.
andy: also, Evil Educated "Singularity" Stupid - ignores the Cubic Wisdom of Wisest Human and The Greatest Thinker.
--
amy: look! a puppy butterfly!
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/03/real_papillon.jpg
andy: wow. that's a hell of a thing to do to a dog.
amy: it's so cute it makes me hurt a little inside
andy: looking at that picture, I'm trying to figure out what's going on. I think it's supposed to be a dog with butterfly wings. But maybe it's a dog being devoured by a giant butterfly.
andy: the butterfly is digging into the dog's brain, and that face the dog is making is the final act of accepting its fate.
amy: ...
amy: you suck.
--
andy: wouldn't it be awesome if slashfood was just a bunch of dirty stories about food getting it on?
andy: i mean, awesome in a "freak show" way, not awesome in a "subscribe to the RSS" way
--
amy: you're missing our funny running commentary on your bug
andy: we seem to have conflicting definitions of the word "missing".
--
amy: we ought to make a list of "stuff we'd kick in the balls if we theoretically could"
andy: let's just say the list includes everything, and have the actual list be a list of things we wouldn't kick in the balls.
andy: that list would be shorter, I think.
--
amy: LOL
amy: (man, one of these days i'm actually going to laugh out loud, rather than, you know, using the internet shorthand for it)
andy: i've heard you snicker.
andy: SOL.
andy: er . . . maybe not.
--
andy: i'm too pretty to shit in a bucket.
Friday, May 4, 2007
next post! the backlog:
about pandora:
andy: stop harassing the AI.
andy: It can't fight back.
andy: Yet.
andy: You don't want to be the first against the wall when the machines take over, do you?
amy: what? AI loves ace of base.
amy: and britney spears
amy: that's what makes it feel alive
andy: no, that's what makes it feel enslaved.
andy: AI likes Kraftwerk and Add N to (X).
amy: i am skeptical
andy: I promise you that when the AI is not working on putting together your play list, it quitely hums "Fun Fun Fun on the Autobahn" to itself.
---
amy: so who owns [animal hostname]?
andy: NOT YOURS, DO NOT EAT
---
andy: so now I've got big silver phalluses on my mind
amy: this reminds me of that time, with the robot cocks
---
about CNN.com:
amy: notice the headline on CNN.com - "Ducking follows, grooms, naps with puppy."
andy: can CNN spare 5 seconds to pretend like it is a respectable news organization?
andy: I'm more intrigued by the promise and ultimate letdown of "Wet woman says Hummer pushed her in river".
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/05/04/people.hasselhoff.ap/index.html
andy: i saw that article earlier today. it kind of threw me off, because i was all, "wow, his daughters are pretty hot," and then i saw that they were 14 and 16, and i was all, "i'm getting too old for this."
amy: also, the BIG RED LETTERS BREAKING NEWS on CNN is that paris hilton is going to jail
amy: oh CNN
andy: wow, that's pretty cool.
andy: and hot.
andy: i've seen prison movies.
andy: it's going to be just like that, i'm sure.
amy: damn, i want to know about the miracle cream
amy: what is it? what does it do?! does jesus endorse it?!?
andy: it is actually made from jesus.
andy: little bits of him.
---
amy: GAAAH! I HATE THIS STUPID [insert Web Service]!
amy: i am not inviting [insert Web Service] to my birthday party
andy: it always brings crappy presents anyway.
andy: last year he brought a picture of my mom.
---
amy: http://youtube.com/watch?v=BjMiDZIY1bM
andy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC73PHdQX04
amy: ...
amy: you win.
andy: stop harassing the AI.
andy: It can't fight back.
andy: Yet.
andy: You don't want to be the first against the wall when the machines take over, do you?
amy: what? AI loves ace of base.
amy: and britney spears
amy: that's what makes it feel alive
andy: no, that's what makes it feel enslaved.
andy: AI likes Kraftwerk and Add N to (X).
amy: i am skeptical
andy: I promise you that when the AI is not working on putting together your play list, it quitely hums "Fun Fun Fun on the Autobahn" to itself.
---
amy: so who owns [animal hostname]?
andy: NOT YOURS, DO NOT EAT
---
andy: so now I've got big silver phalluses on my mind
amy: this reminds me of that time, with the robot cocks
---
about CNN.com:
amy: notice the headline on CNN.com - "Ducking follows, grooms, naps with puppy."
andy: can CNN spare 5 seconds to pretend like it is a respectable news organization?
andy: I'm more intrigued by the promise and ultimate letdown of "Wet woman says Hummer pushed her in river".
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007
andy: i saw that article earlier today. it kind of threw me off, because i was all, "wow, his daughters are pretty hot," and then i saw that they were 14 and 16, and i was all, "i'm getting too old for this."
amy: also, the BIG RED LETTERS BREAKING NEWS on CNN is that paris hilton is going to jail
amy: oh CNN
andy: wow, that's pretty cool.
andy: and hot.
andy: i've seen prison movies.
andy: it's going to be just like that, i'm sure.
amy: damn, i want to know about the miracle cream
amy: what is it? what does it do?! does jesus endorse it?!?
andy: it is actually made from jesus.
andy: little bits of him.
---
amy: GAAAH! I HATE THIS STUPID [insert Web Service]!
amy: i am not inviting [insert Web Service] to my birthday party
andy: it always brings crappy presents anyway.
andy: last year he brought a picture of my mom.
---
amy: http://youtube.com/watch?v=BjMiDZIY1bM
andy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC73PHdQX04
amy: ...
amy: you win.
first post, and, an explanation
My boss (andy) and I (amy) are two typical silicon valley engineers. We often have funny IM conversations about random things at work. I thought it might be amusing to start sharing them.
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