andy: your IMs are like that death cat. if you get an IM from amy, you are about to die.
amy: well, that's my cheerful thought for the week
--
andy: trust me, i know exactly how funny i am.
andy: to ten decimal places.
--
(when i asked what one of our coworkers does)
andy: imagine [our company] as some sort of large sea-dwelling mammal.
andy: and imagine cash being stored in some sort of bucket.
andy: [coworker] makes sure that we always has a bucket.
andy: and that they not be taking it.
--
amy: i think about how, 50 years from now, there will be old people in retirement homes being all like, "i can has prune juice" and then everyone will laugh and none of the young 'uns will get it
andy: that's a sad, sad thought.
andy: maybe by that time a new age of sincerity will have come about, and people will be ashamed of their lolcat love.
andy: either that or the young people will be so annoyed with us that they will push for mandatory euthanasia
--
(about scottish fold cats)
andy: would it be funny to get one of those cats and put some fake blood on its head, and then walk around with it?
andy: i say, "yes"
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
you can't see it, but...
amy: you can't see it, but right now, i am doing a triumphant victory dance
amy: with your mom
--
andy: i rock old skool.
amy: old skool would be a spork
andy: if you're stabbing yourself in the eye, you aren't going for the"feel good" method.
--
amy: you know, i keep mentioning to [coworker] that when something is broken, that makes me a sad panda.
amy: but come to think of it, i don't think he gets the reference.
amy: and probably thinks i'm just crazy.
andy: all pandas are sad, and he knows it.
andy: what you don't know is that they're all sad because [coworker] is trying to kill them.
andy: he pretends ignorance to shield you from the awful truth.
amy: :-O
--
andy: is there a word for having several extended metaphors going in different IM windows, and losing track?
andy: there should be.
amy: what was that, about your contribution to the english language and kilowords?
andy: well, i'm not going to invent a new word if there's already a perfectly cromulent one.
amy: i'm afraid to think about what your other extended metaphors are.
andy: just remember that i'm a duke in the land of metaphors.
amy: i bet that just gets you laid all the time.
andy: strangely, not as often as one would expect.
--
amy: U LOSE!
andy: i fucking win.
andy: by adding "fucking", it becomes indisputable.
andy: like your mom
amy: i honestly can't argue with that.
andy: i like that sentence. it is fun to parse.
amy: with your mom
--
andy: i rock old skool.
amy: old skool would be a spork
andy: if you're stabbing yourself in the eye, you aren't going for the"feel good" method.
--
amy: you know, i keep mentioning to [coworker] that when something is broken, that makes me a sad panda.
amy: but come to think of it, i don't think he gets the reference.
amy: and probably thinks i'm just crazy.
andy: all pandas are sad, and he knows it.
andy: what you don't know is that they're all sad because [coworker] is trying to kill them.
andy: he pretends ignorance to shield you from the awful truth.
amy: :-O
--
andy: is there a word for having several extended metaphors going in different IM windows, and losing track?
andy: there should be.
amy: what was that, about your contribution to the english language and kilowords?
andy: well, i'm not going to invent a new word if there's already a perfectly cromulent one.
amy: i'm afraid to think about what your other extended metaphors are.
andy: just remember that i'm a duke in the land of metaphors.
amy: i bet that just gets you laid all the time.
andy: strangely, not as often as one would expect.
--
amy: U LOSE!
andy: i fucking win.
andy: by adding "fucking", it becomes indisputable.
andy: like your mom
amy: i honestly can't argue with that.
andy: i like that sentence. it is fun to parse.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
"Good fortune has its roots in disaster, and Pinot sales have shot through the gag wrapped over her face."
andy: it's the difference between "oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh" and "WOO WOO"
--
amy: http://foryourentertainment.blogspot.com/2007/07/oh-my.html
andy: it's always good to have a preview of your nightmares, just so you know what to expect ahead of time
--
about: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/seriously-hungr.html
andy: he's young
andy: he's had a short life
amy: who?
andy: [coworker]. he said it was the best video he had ever seen in his life.
amy: oh
amy: he obviously hasn't seen thriller.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/son-those-are-s.html
amy: this just doesn't look...right
andy: the cute overload anal fixation must end!
--
amy: [quoting coworker] "nice catch, all fix now! kthxbuy"
amy: i kind of want to point out that's not how you spell "bai"
andy: stop judging. lolcat just wants to love.
--
andy: sinsnarky.
andy: my contributions to the english language will be measured in kilowords.
amy: yes. yes they will.
--
amy: wow, the paris version of the haunted mansion has _much_ better music than the US one
andy: paris hilton has a haunted mansion?
amy: she can fit a lot in there...
andy: i was wondering where you would go with that.
amy: i meant her purse.
andy: so did i.
--
amy: i'm sure his inner hipster will weep.
andy: so will the outer hipster.
--
amy: http://foryourentertainment.blogspot.com/2007/07/oh-my.html
andy: it's always good to have a preview of your nightmares, just so you know what to expect ahead of time
--
about: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/seriously-hungr.html
andy: he's young
andy: he's had a short life
amy: who?
andy: [coworker]. he said it was the best video he had ever seen in his life.
amy: oh
amy: he obviously hasn't seen thriller.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/son-those-are-s.html
amy: this just doesn't look...right
andy: the cute overload anal fixation must end!
--
amy: [quoting coworker] "nice catch, all fix now! kthxbuy"
amy: i kind of want to point out that's not how you spell "bai"
andy: stop judging. lolcat just wants to love.
--
andy: sinsnarky.
andy: my contributions to the english language will be measured in kilowords.
amy: yes. yes they will.
--
amy: wow, the paris version of the haunted mansion has _much_ better music than the US one
andy: paris hilton has a haunted mansion?
amy: she can fit a lot in there...
andy: i was wondering where you would go with that.
amy: i meant her purse.
andy: so did i.
--
amy: i'm sure his inner hipster will weep.
andy: so will the outer hipster.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
you s'posed to be up cookin' breakfast or somethin'
amy: it's like an alarm clock!
andy: wooowooo
--
andy: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=37209062
andy: this requires headphones
andy: or not.
andy: no, you want to hear it.
andy: you really do.
amy: um
amy: kind of catchy?
andy: it's got a good beat, and i can dance to it.
andy: WHILE DRESSED LIKE A WOLF.
amy: oh god, the singing just started
andy: oh
andy: yeah, that's where it gets good.
amy: you win.
--
amy: i've been looking up php string comparators, and i keep seeing "preg_match" and "preg_quote" etc. and going "whoah!"
andy: yeah, php gets around and doesn't wear a rubber.
andy: that's why it also has a std_library
--
andy: any solution that fails to incorporate fire is only 75% of a solution.
--
andy: curl -s 'http://www.timecube.com' sed 's/<[^>]*>//g' sed 's/&[^;]*;//g' tr '\n\r' ' ' sed 's/\*\**\*/\n/g' awk '{ printrand(), $0 }' sort -n cut -d " " -f 2- head -n 1
andy: i have created the ultimate script.
amy: umm
amy: good for you.
amy: want a cookie?
--
amy: you have finally mastered the lolcat language!
andy: well, not quite. i can ask where the bathroom is, where to get a burrito, etc.
andy: i can get by.
--
regarding this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/18/BAG9JR2C201.DTL
andy: has anybody lol'd that dog from that article i sent you yesterday?
amy: no
amy: but i think you need to.
amy: "wino dog just want 1$"
andy: "i eated what the horse eated after he eated it"
--
andy: tell you what: every time you text me something, i'll just assume you added "oh snap" to the end of it.
andy: then we can save some bandwidth.
andy: wooowooo
--
andy: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=37209062
andy: this requires headphones
andy: or not.
andy: no, you want to hear it.
andy: you really do.
amy: um
amy: kind of catchy?
andy: it's got a good beat, and i can dance to it.
andy: WHILE DRESSED LIKE A WOLF.
amy: oh god, the singing just started
andy: oh
andy: yeah, that's where it gets good.
amy: you win.
--
amy: i've been looking up php string comparators, and i keep seeing "preg_match" and "preg_quote" etc. and going "whoah!"
andy: yeah, php gets around and doesn't wear a rubber.
andy: that's why it also has a std_library
--
andy: any solution that fails to incorporate fire is only 75% of a solution.
--
andy: curl -s 'http://www.timecube.com' sed 's/<[^>]*>//g' sed 's/&[^;]*;//g' tr '\n\r' ' ' sed 's/\*\**\*/\n/g' awk '{ printrand(), $0 }' sort -n cut -d " " -f 2- head -n 1
andy: i have created the ultimate script.
amy: umm
amy: good for you.
amy: want a cookie?
--
amy: you have finally mastered the lolcat language!
andy: well, not quite. i can ask where the bathroom is, where to get a burrito, etc.
andy: i can get by.
--
regarding this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/18/BAG9JR2C201.DTL
andy: has anybody lol'd that dog from that article i sent you yesterday?
amy: no
amy: but i think you need to.
amy: "wino dog just want 1$"
andy: "i eated what the horse eated after he eated it"
--
andy: tell you what: every time you text me something, i'll just assume you added "oh snap" to the end of it.
andy: then we can save some bandwidth.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
ohhhh snap.
amy: ohhhh snap
andy: do i need to tell you how awesome it looks when you "ohhh snap" yourself over im?
andy: that's why god invented BOLD AND CAPS LOCK
amy: OHHHHH SNAP!!1
amy: better?
andy: i like the fact that you hit the keys extra hard to make that.
amy: i hit your mom extra hard last night.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/07/03/u-think-we-share-2-much/
andy: now that's funny.
amy: every time a lolcat makes someone laugh, an angel gets its wings
amy: on the flip side of that coin, every time a lolcat fails to make someone laugh, god kills a kitten
amy: frankly, they're in a battle for very cat survival
--
amy: i'm torn between chipotle or "the real man's burrito"
amy: um.
amy: shit.
amy: i meant la bamba.
--
amy: is he actually following?
andy: maybe not, but i'm trying to develop better habits.
andy: like your mom, when she dresses up like a nun.
--
andy: this sounds complicated. i just want to shoot a burrito at [coworker]
amy: burrito gun?
andy: we prefer the term "cannon" in the burrito projectile business.
--
andy: wrt our penguin eating discussion:http://www.sfgate.com/n/pictures/2007/07/10/penguin1.jpg
amy: i hear penguin breast meat is the best. penguin legs are small, and not all that meaty.
andy: like your mom?
andy: sorry, that one was pretty cheap.
andy: like your mom.
amy: first rule of your mom: never apologize!
amy: your mom certainly didn't.
andy: you beat me to it.
andy: like your mom did last night.
andy: this is going to be bad, isn't it?
--
andy: http://www.pliantsoftware.ws/botchallengesetup.asmx?wsdl
andy: should be wsdl, right?
andy: and yet . . .
amy: that certainly explains why the web service tests aren't working.
andy: yep.
amy: yep.
andy: do i need to tell you how awesome it looks when you "ohhh snap" yourself over im?
andy: that's why god invented BOLD AND CAPS LOCK
amy: OHHHHH SNAP!!1
amy: better?
andy: i like the fact that you hit the keys extra hard to make that.
amy: i hit your mom extra hard last night.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/07/03/u-think-we-share-2-much/
andy: now that's funny.
amy: every time a lolcat makes someone laugh, an angel gets its wings
amy: on the flip side of that coin, every time a lolcat fails to make someone laugh, god kills a kitten
amy: frankly, they're in a battle for very cat survival
--
amy: i'm torn between chipotle or "the real man's burrito"
amy: um.
amy: shit.
amy: i meant la bamba.
--
amy: is he actually following?
andy: maybe not, but i'm trying to develop better habits.
andy: like your mom, when she dresses up like a nun.
--
andy: this sounds complicated. i just want to shoot a burrito at [coworker]
amy: burrito gun?
andy: we prefer the term "cannon" in the burrito projectile business.
--
andy: wrt our penguin eating discussion:http://www.sfgate.com/n/pictures/2007/07/10/penguin1.jpg
amy: i hear penguin breast meat is the best. penguin legs are small, and not all that meaty.
andy: like your mom?
andy: sorry, that one was pretty cheap.
andy: like your mom.
amy: first rule of your mom: never apologize!
amy: your mom certainly didn't.
andy: you beat me to it.
andy: like your mom did last night.
andy: this is going to be bad, isn't it?
--
andy: http://www.pliantsoftware.ws/botchallengesetup.asmx?wsdl
andy: should be wsdl, right?
andy: and yet . . .
amy: that certainly explains why the web service tests aren't working.
andy: yep.
amy: yep.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
it has been an epic battle over...your mom
I would almost regret the challenge I made last week, but it's been hilarious. And now our coworkers are getting in on this hottt action...with his mom...last night...yeah...
(And I'm not gonna lie: he's winning. He even went so far as to temporarily disable a machine I was working with and rewrite the startup scripts to spit out "I restarted your mom last night." That made my week, right there. And, apparently, my mom's, as well.)
--
amy: it's like taunting monkeys
amy: except i don't get feces thrown at me
(pause)
amy: (unlike your mom, last night)
andy: blah
andy: it's like some sort of duel, where we're both eyeing eachother, wondering if the other person is going to go.
--
andy: hey do you know anything about this file i found on my computer?
andy: public_html/your_mom.html
amy: um, i might have put that there?
andy: yeah, well, it looks like the permissions are set up so that everybody can read/write/execute.
--
andy: this can only end in a race to the bottom, you know.
andy: i'm just making sure you know, before i put on my lead boots.
andy: because once i put those things on, it's tough to get them off.
andy: kind of like your mom.
--
andy: http://mparent7777-2.blogspot.com/2007/07/dick-john-cheney-on-her-list-too.html
andy: my questions are:
andy: 1. what kind of inhuman soul would be capable of sex with dick cheney?
andy: 2. what did he and your mom talk about afterwards?
amy:
1. may god have mercy on their souls
2. the previous night, which they'd both spent with your mom.
andy: not bad, not bad.
--
andy: void yourMom(){
while(1) {
// do nothing in this loop, 'cause your mom is dumb
}
}
amy: lastNight(cons me your_mom)
--
(And I'm not gonna lie: he's winning. He even went so far as to temporarily disable a machine I was working with and rewrite the startup scripts to spit out "I restarted your mom last night." That made my week, right there. And, apparently, my mom's, as well.)
--
amy: it's like taunting monkeys
amy: except i don't get feces thrown at me
(pause)
amy: (unlike your mom, last night)
andy: blah
andy: it's like some sort of duel, where we're both eyeing eachother, wondering if the other person is going to go.
--
andy: hey do you know anything about this file i found on my computer?
andy: public_html/your_mom.html
amy: um, i might have put that there?
andy: yeah, well, it looks like the permissions are set up so that everybody can read/write/execute.
--
andy: this can only end in a race to the bottom, you know.
andy: i'm just making sure you know, before i put on my lead boots.
andy: because once i put those things on, it's tough to get them off.
andy: kind of like your mom.
--
andy: http://mparent7777-2.blogspot.com/2007/07/dick-john-cheney-on-her-list-too.html
andy: my questions are:
andy: 1. what kind of inhuman soul would be capable of sex with dick cheney?
andy: 2. what did he and your mom talk about afterwards?
amy:
1. may god have mercy on their souls
2. the previous night, which they'd both spent with your mom.
andy: not bad, not bad.
--
andy: void yourMom(){
while(1) {
// do nothing in this loop, 'cause your mom is dumb
}
}
amy: lastNight(cons me your_mom)
--
Sunday, July 1, 2007
let's be honest, here
amy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_meat_animals
andy: any list like that that excludes penguin is automatically suspect.
amy: who the hell eats a penguin?
andy: let's be honest here. who doesn't?
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/06/26/giant.penguin/index.html
andy: GIANT FUCKING PENGUINS!!!
andy: you could eat for a month off one of those
amy: GIANT CELIBATE PENGUINS!!!
amy: i bet that's why they're so small, today.
andy: good point
--
amy: i am full of good points.
amy: they ooze from my pores.
amy: pretty bad for the skin, actually.
andy: well, that was an image
amy: i am full of those, too.
--
amy: [coworker] just made a "your mom" joke, i think
amy: i'm not surprised, but i'm glad _someone_ is taking up the slack.
andy: sorry, i'll work harder.
andy: on your mom.
--
amy: ok, now this is just ridiculously cute!
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/26/bunway-airlines-is-now-landing/
andy: rabbit ass.
amy: cuteoverload would call them, "fuzzy bunny tocks"
amy: in retrospect, i think that site has desensitized me to the sight of the asses of cute animals
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/blogs/marquee/2007/06/farkcom-and-voice-of-reason.html
andy: cnn talks about fark.
andy: meta head explosion.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/28/all-i-can-say-is-dat-my-life-is-pretty-plain/(
andy: what kind of sick fuck makes bee outfits for cats?
amy: these people: http://www.costumesinc.com/pet_costumes_costumes_for_your_dog_costumes.cfm
amy: and these people: http://www.anniescostumes.com/pet.htm
amy: and these people: http://www.costumecraze.com/Traditional-Costumes-Halloween-Costumes-Halloween-Costumes-for-Pets.html
andy: sick sick sick.
amy: and these people: http://www.i-pets.com/cat_costumes.html
andy: just stop.
amy: heh.
andy: any list like that that excludes penguin is automatically suspect.
amy: who the hell eats a penguin?
andy: let's be honest here. who doesn't?
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/06/26/giant.penguin/index.html
andy: GIANT FUCKING PENGUINS!!!
andy: you could eat for a month off one of those
amy: GIANT CELIBATE PENGUINS!!!
amy: i bet that's why they're so small, today.
andy: good point
--
amy: i am full of good points.
amy: they ooze from my pores.
amy: pretty bad for the skin, actually.
andy: well, that was an image
amy: i am full of those, too.
--
amy: [coworker] just made a "your mom" joke, i think
amy: i'm not surprised, but i'm glad _someone_ is taking up the slack.
andy: sorry, i'll work harder.
andy: on your mom.
--
amy: ok, now this is just ridiculously cute!
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/26/bunway-airlines-is-now-landing/
andy: rabbit ass.
amy: cuteoverload would call them, "fuzzy bunny tocks"
amy: in retrospect, i think that site has desensitized me to the sight of the asses of cute animals
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/blogs/marquee/2007/06/farkcom-and-voice-of-reason.html
andy: cnn talks about fark.
andy: meta head explosion.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/06/28/all-i-can-say-is-dat-my-life-is-pretty-plain/(
andy: what kind of sick fuck makes bee outfits for cats?
amy: these people: http://www.costumesinc.com/pet_costumes_costumes_for_your_dog_costumes.cfm
amy: and these people: http://www.anniescostumes.com/pet.htm
amy: and these people: http://www.costumecraze.com/Traditional-Costumes-Halloween-Costumes-Halloween-Costumes-for-Pets.html
andy: sick sick sick.
amy: and these people: http://www.i-pets.com/cat_costumes.html
andy: just stop.
amy: heh.
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