andy: cat cthulhu.txt sed 's/elder gods/cast of "21 Jump Street"/g' sed 's/Cthulhu/Johnny Depp/g' sed 's/non-Euclidean/early 90s/g'
--
andy: did you know that in vietnam, the currency iscalled the "dong".
andy: that lead to an awesome economist article thatused the pharse "offshore dong trading"
andy: it also talked about "relieving pressure on the dong
andy: how the hell am i supposed to take it seriously?
amy: i paid your mom in dong one time
--
andy: game: porn, or XP article?
andy: "Bob K. and I found ourselves at the same hotel in late 1999. We thought we'd do a little pairing."
--
andy: the overlap between "people you want to see naked" and "people who get naked freely" is vanishingly small.
--
amy: SNAP
andy: snap cat will drown his sorrows in a bowl of milk.
--
amy: http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/26/johnny-depp-in-sausa.html
amy: i like the idea of johnny depp sausage
andy: well duh.
amy: i'd disclaim here that i think johnny depp the person is overrated
amy: but that doesn't really leave much left
andy: i just want his sausage.
amy: me too, andy. me too.
--
amy: http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/02/internet-catfight.html
amy: watch all the way through for the "surprise ending"
andy: ok
andy: thanks.
andy: that was ... awesome.
amy: lol
andy: now i know how to stop a bar fight.
amy: that could be your superpower
amy: I do believe you were the one that said vomit wasstrength leaving the body
andy: that sounds like something i would have said.
amy: i have a record of it, in fact
andy: damn you!
--
andy:http://www.thehamburgerphone.com/?gclid=CIDV5__VoZQCFQMIswodv3KxtA
andy: MAILTO:support@thehamburgerphone.com
andy: i don't know, i just like the email address.
andy: maybe i'll pick up the gmail addressmailto:supportatthehamburgerphone@gmail.com
andy: kind of meta.
amy: RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING THE HAMBURGERPHONE!
andy: holy fuck, your hamburger is RINGING!
amy: they've got a hamburgerphone and a cheeseburgerphone
amy: do you suppose they've got a veggieburgerphone?
amy: i can has cheezburgerphone?
andy: this cannot end well.
amy: cheeseburglerphone
amy: cheeseburgerphoneburgler?
amy: i can do this ALL DAY!
andy: i know.
amy: ...
amy: actually, i can't, i ran out of ideas
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
eternal questions answered
amy: so what does victory taste like?
andy: sugar, and wheat, and some jam.
--
amy: did you see the CNN headline about brothels offering gas incentives?
andy: is that like "the dutch oven"?
--
my: oooh, we've got TWO code freezes happening around the same time
amy: it's exciting
amy: like your mom
andy: she is exciting.
andy: but your mom is twice-frozen.
amy: hm.
andy: wow, i just threw that one away.
amy: puzzled cat says: FAIL
andy: ok then.
amy: three-life-mario cat says: TWO LIVES LEFT
--
andy: http://punchyouinthefacebook.com/
andy: not as cool as i had hoped.
andy: http://www.punchyouinthefacebook.net/
andy: still available
--
andy: happy monday
andy: in tuvalu, the first part of monday is considered an extension of the weekend, and it is considered socially uncool to not have at least one drink before noon.
amy: we clearly live in the wrong country
andy: in pre-revolutionary St. Petersburg, many families had a monday ritual of inviting a peasant in for dinner, then branding his face with a butter knife heated over the fire.
andy: they quickly ran out of peasants, so it was a short-lived fad.
amy: you're weird.
amy: wow, tuvalu is small
andy: that's what your mom said last night.
andy: (here we see a use of delay for dramatic impact. if you turn to page 127 in your text book, you will see several other examples and counter-examples, as well as a flow-char entitled "Determining the correct delay time for maximum emotional impact")
--
andy: hm ...
andy: well, at least there was no horse fucking.
andy: yet
amy: I'll have to look on that particular bright side more frequently
andy: you should.
--
amy: [large corporation] is watching you
andy: that's why i wear the monkey suit.
andy: it never knows if it's me or the monkey.
amy: and the tinfoil hat?
andy: that's to keep my head warm.
--
andy: next time somebody says "i don't think code review is a good use of our time" i am going to punch that person in the nuts and stomp on his or her face (though if it is a her then the nuts may not work)
amy: [femaile coworker] and i could start carrying around a bag of peanuts. you know, like the ones they give you on planes?
--
amy: do you ever think "Man, I really could have rocked the Oregon Trail back in the day!" now that you've played the game?
andy: totally.
andy: i used to practice by playing in the winter with the window open.
andy: and i gave myself dysentery.
andy: with a spoon.
amy: i gave your mom something with a spoon last night
amy: ice cream!
andy: funny, i was just about to say that.
--
andy: and knowing is half the battle.
andy: the other half is not panicking and shooting your friend in the back of the head because you were up all night smoking pot and playing cards, and you lack discipline.
amy: I KNEW YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT
amy: SNAP
amy: dammit, Pidgin makes it too hard to change the font size, etc. in any reasonable amount of time.
andy: oh god.
amy: lol
amy: I loled first
amy: and then I "lol"ed
amy: ah, that's better
andy: sugar, and wheat, and some jam.
--
amy: did you see the CNN headline about brothels offering gas incentives?
andy: is that like "the dutch oven"?
--
my: oooh, we've got TWO code freezes happening around the same time
amy: it's exciting
amy: like your mom
andy: she is exciting.
andy: but your mom is twice-frozen.
amy: hm.
andy: wow, i just threw that one away.
amy: puzzled cat says: FAIL
andy: ok then.
amy: three-life-mario cat says: TWO LIVES LEFT
--
andy: http://punchyouinthefacebook.com/
andy: not as cool as i had hoped.
andy: http://www.punchyouinthefacebook.net/
andy: still available
--
andy: happy monday
andy: in tuvalu, the first part of monday is considered an extension of the weekend, and it is considered socially uncool to not have at least one drink before noon.
amy: we clearly live in the wrong country
andy: in pre-revolutionary St. Petersburg, many families had a monday ritual of inviting a peasant in for dinner, then branding his face with a butter knife heated over the fire.
andy: they quickly ran out of peasants, so it was a short-lived fad.
amy: you're weird.
amy: wow, tuvalu is small
andy: that's what your mom said last night.
andy: (here we see a use of delay for dramatic impact. if you turn to page 127 in your text book, you will see several other examples and counter-examples, as well as a flow-char entitled "Determining the correct delay time for maximum emotional impact")
--
andy: hm ...
andy: well, at least there was no horse fucking.
andy: yet
amy: I'll have to look on that particular bright side more frequently
andy: you should.
--
amy: [large corporation] is watching you
andy: that's why i wear the monkey suit.
andy: it never knows if it's me or the monkey.
amy: and the tinfoil hat?
andy: that's to keep my head warm.
--
andy: next time somebody says "i don't think code review is a good use of our time" i am going to punch that person in the nuts and stomp on his or her face (though if it is a her then the nuts may not work)
amy: [femaile coworker] and i could start carrying around a bag of peanuts. you know, like the ones they give you on planes?
--
amy: do you ever think "Man, I really could have rocked the Oregon Trail back in the day!" now that you've played the game?
andy: totally.
andy: i used to practice by playing in the winter with the window open.
andy: and i gave myself dysentery.
andy: with a spoon.
amy: i gave your mom something with a spoon last night
amy: ice cream!
andy: funny, i was just about to say that.
--
andy: and knowing is half the battle.
andy: the other half is not panicking and shooting your friend in the back of the head because you were up all night smoking pot and playing cards, and you lack discipline.
amy: I KNEW YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT
amy: SNAP
amy: dammit, Pidgin makes it too hard to change the font size, etc. in any reasonable amount of time.
andy: oh god.
amy: lol
amy: I loled first
amy: and then I "lol"ed
amy: ah, that's better
Friday, May 9, 2008
(psst, let's pretend i didn't forget to update)
Not so many one-liners...just a lot of long ones this time (that's what she said).
--
andy: http://www.beardsbeardsbeards.com/emo.html
andy:
http://conversationswithmyboss.blogspot.com/2007/12/long-overdue-update.html
andy: somebody owes us some cash.
--
amy: so i just bought a makeup brush the other day, and i opened it up this morning
amy: it smells like gasoline
amy: in a way that makes me kind of want to set it on fire to see what happens
andy: maybe it's a makeup brush for attracting mechanics.
andy: or huffers?
andy: either way.
amy: sounds like i can't lose
--
andy: we aim to please.
amy: lol
andy: your mom.
--
amy: nous avons un ordinateur francais!!!!!!!
amy: c'est si bon!
andy: oi.
andy: oy
andy: oui
andy: we
amy: that's what she said
amy: c'est qu'elle dit.
andy: cqd
amy: did i just win that exchange?
andy: i think that victory was so strong it might have gone into the future.
andy: did you know that jackie chan only has one word for snow?
--
andy: chloroform > dreams
--
andy: [SPAM: ***********************] Huge tool to please your lassie
andy: http://dailyplanet314.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/lassie3.jpg
amy: um, i don't think that's what they meant
andy: hey, the kid looks like a tool and the dog looks happy.
--
andy: just something i got in an email, but i was just entertained by
the fact that it was so ... big.
amy: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
amy: i typed it in lowercase first
amy: but then I realized that it needed all capital letters
andy: that's what she said.
amy: damn you
amy: stealing my thunder
amy: i stole your mom's thunder last night
amy: WOO
amy: EAT IT, [ANDY'S LAST NAME]
amy: i'm going to calm down now
andy: probably best for all involved.
--
andy: coffee cat says: i have peed in your coffee. now you have rabies.
--
andy: firefox is a fucking whore.
amy: i think i've got nothing but sympathy and a "your mom" joke
andy: i love how firefox crashes and then tells you that you've been
updated when you restart
andy: it's like your dog bringing you the paper after he's shit on the carpet
--
amy: i like the irony of mixing two totally unpalatable drinks - gin and tonic - in order to make them more palatable
andy: it does seem strange.
andy: i liked the idea from the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, that every planet had a version of the gin and tonic that tasted more or less the same and had a name that sounded more or less like "gin and tonic".
amy: universal constants?
amy: like gravity?
andy: very much like gravity.
andy: in a glass.
amy: i had a grave moment with your mom last night.
andy: i collapsed your mom in a gravity well last night.
andy: i was tossed into your mom's black hole and re-emitted as radiation.
andy: hm ... too graphic.
amy: that's what she said.
--
andy: infinitives: to split, or to not split?
--
amy: your mom was funny last night
amy: must have been the acid?
amy: hm.
amy: did i just take the joke to a new level?
andy: i'm not sure what just happend.
amy: not just sex, but now drugs
amy: next up: your mom and I will be playing rock and roll
amy: ROCK BAND
andy: that's what your mom and i did.
andy: except we had sex.
amy: you sure schooled me.
--
amy: na na, na na na na na, na na na na na na na
andy: you are being chased by a ball. it appears to be made up of pieces of your world that have been rolled up by a super-massive thing in the middle. a small man pushes the ball. you are afraid.
andy: > run
andy: which direction?
andy: > run N
andy: there is a cow to the north. you run toward it.
andy: > examine cow
andy: you try to take a close look at the cow, but it is quickly rolled up by the ball, which has overtaken you. you stare into the little man's eyes. he stares back and mutters something about his father.
andy: > cry
andy: seems like the right thing to do.
--
andy: http://www.beardsbeardsbeards.com/emo.html
andy:
http://conversationswithmyboss.blogspot.com/2007/12/long-overdue-update.html
andy: somebody owes us some cash.
--
amy: so i just bought a makeup brush the other day, and i opened it up this morning
amy: it smells like gasoline
amy: in a way that makes me kind of want to set it on fire to see what happens
andy: maybe it's a makeup brush for attracting mechanics.
andy: or huffers?
andy: either way.
amy: sounds like i can't lose
--
andy: we aim to please.
amy: lol
andy: your mom.
--
amy: nous avons un ordinateur francais!!!!!!!
amy: c'est si bon!
andy: oi.
andy: oy
andy: oui
andy: we
amy: that's what she said
amy: c'est qu'elle dit.
andy: cqd
amy: did i just win that exchange?
andy: i think that victory was so strong it might have gone into the future.
andy: did you know that jackie chan only has one word for snow?
--
andy: chloroform > dreams
--
andy: [SPAM: ***********************] Huge tool to please your lassie
andy: http://dailyplanet314.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/lassie3.jpg
amy: um, i don't think that's what they meant
andy: hey, the kid looks like a tool and the dog looks happy.
--
andy: just something i got in an email, but i was just entertained by
the fact that it was so ... big.
amy: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
amy: i typed it in lowercase first
amy: but then I realized that it needed all capital letters
andy: that's what she said.
amy: damn you
amy: stealing my thunder
amy: i stole your mom's thunder last night
amy: WOO
amy: EAT IT, [ANDY'S LAST NAME]
amy: i'm going to calm down now
andy: probably best for all involved.
--
andy: coffee cat says: i have peed in your coffee. now you have rabies.
--
andy: firefox is a fucking whore.
amy: i think i've got nothing but sympathy and a "your mom" joke
andy: i love how firefox crashes and then tells you that you've been
updated when you restart
andy: it's like your dog bringing you the paper after he's shit on the carpet
--
amy: i like the irony of mixing two totally unpalatable drinks - gin and tonic - in order to make them more palatable
andy: it does seem strange.
andy: i liked the idea from the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, that every planet had a version of the gin and tonic that tasted more or less the same and had a name that sounded more or less like "gin and tonic".
amy: universal constants?
amy: like gravity?
andy: very much like gravity.
andy: in a glass.
amy: i had a grave moment with your mom last night.
andy: i collapsed your mom in a gravity well last night.
andy: i was tossed into your mom's black hole and re-emitted as radiation.
andy: hm ... too graphic.
amy: that's what she said.
--
andy: infinitives: to split, or to not split?
--
amy: your mom was funny last night
amy: must have been the acid?
amy: hm.
amy: did i just take the joke to a new level?
andy: i'm not sure what just happend.
amy: not just sex, but now drugs
amy: next up: your mom and I will be playing rock and roll
amy: ROCK BAND
andy: that's what your mom and i did.
andy: except we had sex.
amy: you sure schooled me.
--
amy: na na, na na na na na, na na na na na na na
andy: you are being chased by a ball. it appears to be made up of pieces of your world that have been rolled up by a super-massive thing in the middle. a small man pushes the ball. you are afraid.
andy: > run
andy: which direction?
andy: > run N
andy: there is a cow to the north. you run toward it.
andy: > examine cow
andy: you try to take a close look at the cow, but it is quickly rolled up by the ball, which has overtaken you. you stare into the little man's eyes. he stares back and mutters something about his father.
andy: > cry
andy: seems like the right thing to do.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
ORDER IN THE COURT!
andy: it really depends on how well your audience understands a parlimentary system.
amy: your mom explained the parliamentary system to me last night.
andy: she likes to dissolve parliament from time to time ...
amy: I used to have this roommate...late at night, sometimes I could hear "ORDER IN THE COURT" and "IF I MAY PRESENT..." and "OBJECTION!" intermixed with moaning and yelling
amy: I couldn't tell if the banging was a gavel or the headboard against the wall
amy: i assume, sometimes, that it was both
--
andy: papercraft ceiling cat just ate my brain.
andy: good morning.
--
amy: i built this city on rock and roll.
andy: i've heard that parts of the city were built on rock and roll, but due to the use of corrupt contractors, a great deal of it was built on disco and a certain section is built almost entirely on techno.
--
andy: given the popularity of chuck norris and the "i'm fucking matt damon" video on youtube, i'm trying to figure out why "i'm fucking chuck norris" gives so few hits on google.
--
(about the eee pc)
amy: i'm a little iffy about the screen size
amy: but other than that, it looks so cute that it could be the pet i don't have
andy: and it won't pee on the carpet.
amy: yet.
andy: yet
--
amy: i used "that's what she said," on my dad last night
amy: he didn't get it
andy: that's because i was getting it.
andy: from your mom.
--
amy: hey, you remind me
andy: of the babe
andy: what babe.
andy: the babe with the power.
andy: what power?
andy: sorry, a little david bowie slipped in.
--
andy: i would imagine they could do some damage.
amy: i damaged your mom last night
amy: SNAP
amy: man
amy: someone needs to shoot the lame one-trick-pony
andy: nah
andy: we like watching it limp around.
amy: [coworker] and I can't have a real conversation anymore
amy: it's all "your mom" jokes
amy: it's pretty sad.
andy: just pretend that you're blazing new trails of communication.
andy: i mean, you aren't, but just pretend.
--
amy: "in my pants"
amy: that's the one my friend uses all of the time
amy: I somehow feel that, as a girl, this line is not as effective when I use it
amy: then again
amy: I've been doing "your mom" since 2001
andy: i think it works.
andy: and i've been doing your mom for a lot longer.
amy: your mom explained the parliamentary system to me last night.
andy: she likes to dissolve parliament from time to time ...
amy: I used to have this roommate...late at night, sometimes I could hear "ORDER IN THE COURT" and "IF I MAY PRESENT..." and "OBJECTION!" intermixed with moaning and yelling
amy: I couldn't tell if the banging was a gavel or the headboard against the wall
amy: i assume, sometimes, that it was both
--
andy: papercraft ceiling cat just ate my brain.
andy: good morning.
--
amy: i built this city on rock and roll.
andy: i've heard that parts of the city were built on rock and roll, but due to the use of corrupt contractors, a great deal of it was built on disco and a certain section is built almost entirely on techno.
--
andy: given the popularity of chuck norris and the "i'm fucking matt damon" video on youtube, i'm trying to figure out why "i'm fucking chuck norris" gives so few hits on google.
--
(about the eee pc)
amy: i'm a little iffy about the screen size
amy: but other than that, it looks so cute that it could be the pet i don't have
andy: and it won't pee on the carpet.
amy: yet.
andy: yet
--
amy: i used "that's what she said," on my dad last night
amy: he didn't get it
andy: that's because i was getting it.
andy: from your mom.
--
amy: hey, you remind me
andy: of the babe
andy: what babe.
andy: the babe with the power.
andy: what power?
andy: sorry, a little david bowie slipped in.
--
andy: i would imagine they could do some damage.
amy: i damaged your mom last night
amy: SNAP
amy: man
amy: someone needs to shoot the lame one-trick-pony
andy: nah
andy: we like watching it limp around.
amy: [coworker] and I can't have a real conversation anymore
amy: it's all "your mom" jokes
amy: it's pretty sad.
andy: just pretend that you're blazing new trails of communication.
andy: i mean, you aren't, but just pretend.
--
amy: "in my pants"
amy: that's the one my friend uses all of the time
amy: I somehow feel that, as a girl, this line is not as effective when I use it
amy: then again
amy: I've been doing "your mom" since 2001
andy: i think it works.
andy: and i've been doing your mom for a lot longer.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
where's this post been?
andy: the tubes must have been backed up.
andy: with poop.
andy: internet poop.
--
amy: if anything exciting happens, I'm relying on you to let me know
amy: this includes gunfights.
andy: jesus, if i had to tell you about every gunfight i would never get anything done.
--
andy: client/server arch is sexy in some ways.
andy: but like your mom in a teddy, it doesn't always do exactly what you want.
amy: ...
--
andy: do you think the files i put in the windows recycling bin really
get recycled, or do they just get thrown away at the end of the day?
amy: they go to doggy heaven
amy: we didn't want to tell you this when you were younger, but...
andy: doggy heaven, eh?
andy: i just imagined doggie heaven was a bunch of disembodied legs to hump.
andy: i suddenly had a flash of the world's third most disturbing niche porn market, and now i'm going to try to forget it.
--
amy: porn destroyed the internet a long time ago
amy: we scavenge in the ruins now
andy: porn created the internet.
andy: porn and video games.
amy: and your mom
amy: and al gore
amy: they made a baby together
amy: and it was the internet
andy: seriously, who do you think was asking for high-bandwith connections?
andy: your mom is al gore.
andy: you see, it is funny, because it kind of sounds like "your mom is a whore"
andy: which she is.
--
andy: just think of me as google with swearing.
--
andy: i live by the idea that there are things you cannot unknow, no
matter how hard you try.
amy: yeah. that probably explains why i can't get my intimate knowledge of your mom out of my head.
andy: yes, that is one reason.
--
andy: ah spring.
andy: i remember seasons.
amy: back in my day, we had to walk 15 miles in the snow uphill, both ways, in order to experience a season
andy: yeah, but once we got through nuclear winter, everything went back to normal.
andy: except the mutants.
andy: fucking mutants.
--
amy: i like puppies.
andy: they are tasty.
--
amy: uhh
amy: you're weird.
andy: a year and a half of working together and i finally coax that out of you.
amy: oh, but i've been thinking it all along.
amy: i even mouth it sometimes when your back is turned
andy: with poop.
andy: internet poop.
--
amy: if anything exciting happens, I'm relying on you to let me know
amy: this includes gunfights.
andy: jesus, if i had to tell you about every gunfight i would never get anything done.
--
andy: client/server arch is sexy in some ways.
andy: but like your mom in a teddy, it doesn't always do exactly what you want.
amy: ...
--
andy: do you think the files i put in the windows recycling bin really
get recycled, or do they just get thrown away at the end of the day?
amy: they go to doggy heaven
amy: we didn't want to tell you this when you were younger, but...
andy: doggy heaven, eh?
andy: i just imagined doggie heaven was a bunch of disembodied legs to hump.
andy: i suddenly had a flash of the world's third most disturbing niche porn market, and now i'm going to try to forget it.
--
amy: porn destroyed the internet a long time ago
amy: we scavenge in the ruins now
andy: porn created the internet.
andy: porn and video games.
amy: and your mom
amy: and al gore
amy: they made a baby together
amy: and it was the internet
andy: seriously, who do you think was asking for high-bandwith connections?
andy: your mom is al gore.
andy: you see, it is funny, because it kind of sounds like "your mom is a whore"
andy: which she is.
--
andy: just think of me as google with swearing.
--
andy: i live by the idea that there are things you cannot unknow, no
matter how hard you try.
amy: yeah. that probably explains why i can't get my intimate knowledge of your mom out of my head.
andy: yes, that is one reason.
--
andy: ah spring.
andy: i remember seasons.
amy: back in my day, we had to walk 15 miles in the snow uphill, both ways, in order to experience a season
andy: yeah, but once we got through nuclear winter, everything went back to normal.
andy: except the mutants.
andy: fucking mutants.
--
amy: i like puppies.
andy: they are tasty.
--
amy: uhh
amy: you're weird.
andy: a year and a half of working together and i finally coax that out of you.
amy: oh, but i've been thinking it all along.
amy: i even mouth it sometimes when your back is turned
Monday, February 18, 2008
blog cat says...
"meow, we're back."
--
andy: emo cat says: friends are mean.
amy: sarcastic cat says: did emo cat weep when he said that?
amy: also, does emo cat wear too-tight pants?
amy: and if so, where does his tail fit?
andy: stupid question cat refuses to dignify that with a response.
amy: well stupid question cat is just no fun and probably never gets laid
--
amy: i've got pavarotti stuck in my head
andy: there are worse places for him to be stuck.
amy: like the back of a chevy?
--
andy: i had your mom's cat on my arm the other night.
amy: double-entendre cat says: WIN
amy: but
amy: double-entendre cat also says: confused and trying not to picture how that works.
andy: race to the bottom cat says: i am wearin led boots.
amy: man, race-to-the-bottom cat must have a pretty stiff-legged gait, then
andy: he does, but once he hits the water there are none faster.
--
andy: VPXL+ IS GUARANTEED TO EN`L@RGE & STRENGTHEN YOUR PHALLUS OR YOUR MONEY BACK - PERIOD! SO WHY WAIT? GET VPXL+ AND LIVE LARGE TODAY!
andy: stupid question cat wonders: why wait, indeed?
andy: stupid question cat has leveled up. he is now ironic contradiction cat.
--
amy: yeah. turn that into a ymj. i dare you.
andy: i was just going to sit here and ignore it.
amy: I IGNORED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT!!!
amy: that's right: i hurt her feelings.
amy: man, i am a bitch.
andy: she said she was happier that way.
andy: she had a head ache.
amy: you suck.
--
andy: http://www.codecommit.com/blog/scala/scala-for-java-refugees-part-1
andy: "You're comfortable with Java, you know its ins and outs, its moods. It's like an old girlfriend; you may not feel the vibe anymore, but you know just how to rub it so it smiles."
andy: someday we'll figure out why there aren't more women in the computer industry.
--
amy: amy cat wonders: are we going to talk through cats all day?
amy: not that there's a problem with that.
amy: but amy cat is curious.
amy: and amused.
andy: magic 8 ball cat says: ask again later.
--
amy: one of my friends was over last week playing katamari damacy, and I got pretty violently ill if I looked at the screen for more than 2 minutes
andy: yeah, that happens.
andy: the vomitting is weakness leaving the body.
andy: and landing on your floor.
andy: weakness smells bad, and discolors the carpet.
--
andy: psycho-analytical cat says: tell me about your mom.
--
andy: andy's-giant-guns-cat says: you fail
--
andy: joke cat says: what's the difference between a mcdonalds and a brothel?
amy: clueless cat says: um, do you want fries with that?
andy: YOUR MOM!!!
amy: critical cat says: that was terrible, but funny
andy: partner in crime cat says: i have to get one in before you leave.
andy: ymj
--
andy: emo cat says: friends are mean.
amy: sarcastic cat says: did emo cat weep when he said that?
amy: also, does emo cat wear too-tight pants?
amy: and if so, where does his tail fit?
andy: stupid question cat refuses to dignify that with a response.
amy: well stupid question cat is just no fun and probably never gets laid
--
amy: i've got pavarotti stuck in my head
andy: there are worse places for him to be stuck.
amy: like the back of a chevy?
--
andy: i had your mom's cat on my arm the other night.
amy: double-entendre cat says: WIN
amy: but
amy: double-entendre cat also says: confused and trying not to picture how that works.
andy: race to the bottom cat says: i am wearin led boots.
amy: man, race-to-the-bottom cat must have a pretty stiff-legged gait, then
andy: he does, but once he hits the water there are none faster.
--
andy: VPXL+ IS GUARANTEED TO EN`L@RGE & STRENGTHEN YOUR PHALLUS OR YOUR MONEY BACK - PERIOD! SO WHY WAIT? GET VPXL+ AND LIVE LARGE TODAY!
andy: stupid question cat wonders: why wait, indeed?
andy: stupid question cat has leveled up. he is now ironic contradiction cat.
--
amy: yeah. turn that into a ymj. i dare you.
andy: i was just going to sit here and ignore it.
amy: I IGNORED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT!!!
amy: that's right: i hurt her feelings.
amy: man, i am a bitch.
andy: she said she was happier that way.
andy: she had a head ache.
amy: you suck.
--
andy: http://www.codecommit.com/blog/scala/scala-for-java-refugees-part-1
andy: "You're comfortable with Java, you know its ins and outs, its moods. It's like an old girlfriend; you may not feel the vibe anymore, but you know just how to rub it so it smiles."
andy: someday we'll figure out why there aren't more women in the computer industry.
--
amy: amy cat wonders: are we going to talk through cats all day?
amy: not that there's a problem with that.
amy: but amy cat is curious.
amy: and amused.
andy: magic 8 ball cat says: ask again later.
--
amy: one of my friends was over last week playing katamari damacy, and I got pretty violently ill if I looked at the screen for more than 2 minutes
andy: yeah, that happens.
andy: the vomitting is weakness leaving the body.
andy: and landing on your floor.
andy: weakness smells bad, and discolors the carpet.
--
andy: psycho-analytical cat says: tell me about your mom.
--
andy: andy's-giant-guns-cat says: you fail
--
andy: joke cat says: what's the difference between a mcdonalds and a brothel?
amy: clueless cat says: um, do you want fries with that?
andy: YOUR MOM!!!
amy: critical cat says: that was terrible, but funny
andy: partner in crime cat says: i have to get one in before you leave.
andy: ymj
Saturday, December 22, 2007
a long overdue update
...because I suck at blog.
--
andy: emo - the musical
amy: the stage full of hipsters.
amy: wow.
amy: i can imagine it now.
amy: even though i'm trying pretty hard not to.
--
andy: i remixed your mom last night.
andy: i added some new beats.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/12/02/crabby-old-man-kitteh-tellz-u-boring-storeez/
amy: that would have been better with "crabby old man kitteh tellz u to get off his dam lawn!"
andy: crabby old man kitty invades your sleep and steals your dreams.
amy: crabby old man kitty could have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those darn kids!
--
amy: i have blue screen of deathed two times today
andy: windows is all powerful.
andy: it made you think you were seeing blue so that it could get real work done without you bothering it.
amy: windows is the real man's operating system.
andy: real men like to get sucker-punched.
--
andy: "I want these motherfucking agents of the Magisterium off this motherfucking balloon!"
--
andy: what's the point of a bug tracking system if you can't call someone an ass-hatted uncle fucker sometimes?
--
andy: and no, i have not gone to a church to recruit.
andy: i'm not sure i could do that.
andy: unless they were snake handlers.
amy: i think that would be amazing.
andy: well duh.
--
andy: [coworker] is rocking a goatee.
andy: no, i lied.
andy: no one "rocks" a goatee.
amy: i don't know. [coworker] rocks a lot of other things.
amy: haha
andy: if it was possible to rock a goatee, [coworker] would be doing it.
andy: currently, there is a goatee attached to [coworker]'s face.
amy: it may be slowly sucking the life out of him
amy: be careful
--
amy: wow, cupcakeblog just makes me want to eat baked goods
amy: i kind of want to follow this woman around and steal all of her cooling cupcakes from her windowsill
andy: sugar makes me want to eat baked goods.
amy: your mom makes me want to eat baked goods
andy: i ate your mom last night after she got baked.
andy: massive fail cat says: welcome to my world.
--
andy: emo - the musical
amy: the stage full of hipsters.
amy: wow.
amy: i can imagine it now.
amy: even though i'm trying pretty hard not to.
--
andy: i remixed your mom last night.
andy: i added some new beats.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/12/02/crabby-old-man-kitteh-tellz-u-boring-storeez/
amy: that would have been better with "crabby old man kitteh tellz u to get off his dam lawn!"
andy: crabby old man kitty invades your sleep and steals your dreams.
amy: crabby old man kitty could have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those darn kids!
--
amy: i have blue screen of deathed two times today
andy: windows is all powerful.
andy: it made you think you were seeing blue so that it could get real work done without you bothering it.
amy: windows is the real man's operating system.
andy: real men like to get sucker-punched.
--
andy: "I want these motherfucking agents of the Magisterium off this motherfucking balloon!"
--
andy: what's the point of a bug tracking system if you can't call someone an ass-hatted uncle fucker sometimes?
--
andy: and no, i have not gone to a church to recruit.
andy: i'm not sure i could do that.
andy: unless they were snake handlers.
amy: i think that would be amazing.
andy: well duh.
--
andy: [coworker] is rocking a goatee.
andy: no, i lied.
andy: no one "rocks" a goatee.
amy: i don't know. [coworker] rocks a lot of other things.
amy: haha
andy: if it was possible to rock a goatee, [coworker] would be doing it.
andy: currently, there is a goatee attached to [coworker]'s face.
amy: it may be slowly sucking the life out of him
amy: be careful
--
amy: wow, cupcakeblog just makes me want to eat baked goods
amy: i kind of want to follow this woman around and steal all of her cooling cupcakes from her windowsill
andy: sugar makes me want to eat baked goods.
amy: your mom makes me want to eat baked goods
andy: i ate your mom last night after she got baked.
andy: massive fail cat says: welcome to my world.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
it's been awhile
Er, just note the name change above. I've moved to a new state, but we have the same great conversations, just less frequently. Oh, and CNN still sucks.
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/22/apontv.castyourfate.ap/index.html
andy: a. misleading headline
andy: b. article far less sexy than headline would imply.
andy: c. why am i reading cnn?
andy: it's really not worth reading, mostly for the last reason i mention.
amy: a) yeah, that is pretty lame
amy: b) no anecdotes!!!
amy: c) have you learned nothing?
amy: cnn is a bastion of disappointment and pandering
andy: and i keep falling for it.
amy: so does the rest of america
amy: don't feel so bad.
--
andy: and people with fast computers.
amy: your mom had a fast computer last night
amy: OHHH SNAP
andy: i have been served.
amy: quite verily, sir.
--
amy:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/11/08/fluffy-reporting-live-from-downtown-philly/
amy: "fluffy is in ur ghetoz, reportin live!"
andy: that's a fucked up picture.
andy: i call photoshop.
amy: i dunno
amy: why go through the trouble to photoshop a blurry cat into the foreground?
andy: we're talking about icanhascheezburger, and you just used the phrase "why go through the trouble".
andy: think about that.
amy: ...
--
andy: by the way, i just got a megadik spam in the form of a poem
andy: At last you've found a lass that's hot You wanna plough her tasteful twat. She's full of passion, she's so nice! But would your penile size suffice? Not sure she will wish for more? You need a dong she would adore! But how to get it long and thick? Your only hope is MegaDik! You'll get so wanted super-size And see great
pleasure in her eyes! Your rod will slam her pink so deep, Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep! So try today this magic p'ill And change your life at your own will!
andy: eh, line breaks just died, didn't they?
amy: i think a small part of all of us just died, honestly.
andy: come on, that's the best spam ever.
andy: somebody really tried.
amy: so did the guy who wrote all of those nantucket limericks, but you'll notice he only ever talks about other people getting laid.
--
andy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/22/apontv.castyourfate.ap/index.html
andy: a. misleading headline
andy: b. article far less sexy than headline would imply.
andy: c. why am i reading cnn?
andy: it's really not worth reading, mostly for the last reason i mention.
amy: a) yeah, that is pretty lame
amy: b) no anecdotes!!!
amy: c) have you learned nothing?
amy: cnn is a bastion of disappointment and pandering
andy: and i keep falling for it.
amy: so does the rest of america
amy: don't feel so bad.
--
andy: and people with fast computers.
amy: your mom had a fast computer last night
amy: OHHH SNAP
andy: i have been served.
amy: quite verily, sir.
--
amy:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/11/08/fluffy-reporting-live-from-downtown-philly/
amy: "fluffy is in ur ghetoz, reportin live!"
andy: that's a fucked up picture.
andy: i call photoshop.
amy: i dunno
amy: why go through the trouble to photoshop a blurry cat into the foreground?
andy: we're talking about icanhascheezburger, and you just used the phrase "why go through the trouble".
andy: think about that.
amy: ...
--
andy: by the way, i just got a megadik spam in the form of a poem
andy: At last you've found a lass that's hot You wanna plough her tasteful twat. She's full of passion, she's so nice! But would your penile size suffice? Not sure she will wish for more? You need a dong she would adore! But how to get it long and thick? Your only hope is MegaDik! You'll get so wanted super-size And see great
pleasure in her eyes! Your rod will slam her pink so deep, Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep! So try today this magic p'ill And change your life at your own will!
andy: eh, line breaks just died, didn't they?
amy: i think a small part of all of us just died, honestly.
andy: come on, that's the best spam ever.
andy: somebody really tried.
amy: so did the guy who wrote all of those nantucket limericks, but you'll notice he only ever talks about other people getting laid.
Friday, October 19, 2007
an accumulation of the last two weeks
because things have been really, really busy.
--
andy: tastes like christmas.
andy: i probably said that last time, too.
andy: i only say five or six things.
andy: most of them end with "fuck"
--
andy: http://www.myspace.com/clubdeluxesf
andy: you should go to the "Yo Mamma! Slam 2007"
amy: nah
amy: i'm not about insulting your mom
amy: just celebrating her
--
andy: http://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/ds/imaginebabyz
amy: we have come a long way since the sack of flour
andy: and in some ways, not far enough.
--
andy: just get off my damned lawn.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/10/a-wise-wise-ani.html
andy: i'm pretty sure that rabbit could eat a person.
amy: i'm pretty sure it already has.
amy: (neil diamond, in fact)
--
andy: i'm still not sure about how i feel about the "illegal sex with
your mom" angle.
andy: i mean, we did it at a lot of different angles.
andy: but still.
amy: i hear there's websites out there on the internet for that sort of thing
andy: there are three.
andy: one isn't very good, though.
--
amy: good spam subject line: "Does your penis ruin your life?"
andy: always.
amy: penises frequently ruin mine as well.
amy: :-/
--
amy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbaTur4A1OU
amy: you just got duckrolled
amy: bitch.
andy: i hit your mom with a duck last night.
--
(when andy was complaining about how he keeps receiving other people's email)
amy: have you ever considered legally changing your name to something
other than "andrew"?
andy: have you ever considered GOING TO HELL!?!?
--
amy: ymj
amy: (just throwing that out there. gotta keep you on your toes.)
andy: only fair, since i kept your mom on her toes last night.
andy: ZING
amy: yeah, i was waiting for that.
andy: so was she.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/10/tocktober-icy-c.html
amy: BEAR ASS
andy: jesus.
andy: that's something i don't need to see again.
--
andy: http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20071012/sc_livescience/forecastsexandmarriagewithrobotsby2050
amy: yeahhh, i saw that. those netherlands kids are craaaazy.
andy: crazy like a robot-fucking fox.
amy: but hey, i guess there's some reassurance in knowing the robot
won't break your heart.
amy: well, unless you want it to.
amy: with its fists.
andy: people already have sex with robots all the time.
andy: nobody wants to marry a vibrator.
--
andy: (andy has left the building. please leave a message.)
--
andy: tastes like christmas.
andy: i probably said that last time, too.
andy: i only say five or six things.
andy: most of them end with "fuck"
--
andy: http://www.myspace.com/clubdeluxesf
andy: you should go to the "Yo Mamma! Slam 2007"
amy: nah
amy: i'm not about insulting your mom
amy: just celebrating her
--
andy: http://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/ds/imaginebabyz
amy: we have come a long way since the sack of flour
andy: and in some ways, not far enough.
--
andy: just get off my damned lawn.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/10/a-wise-wise-ani.html
andy: i'm pretty sure that rabbit could eat a person.
amy: i'm pretty sure it already has.
amy: (neil diamond, in fact)
--
andy: i'm still not sure about how i feel about the "illegal sex with
your mom" angle.
andy: i mean, we did it at a lot of different angles.
andy: but still.
amy: i hear there's websites out there on the internet for that sort of thing
andy: there are three.
andy: one isn't very good, though.
--
amy: good spam subject line: "Does your penis ruin your life?"
andy: always.
amy: penises frequently ruin mine as well.
amy: :-/
--
amy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbaTur4A1OU
amy: you just got duckrolled
amy: bitch.
andy: i hit your mom with a duck last night.
--
(when andy was complaining about how he keeps receiving other people's email)
amy: have you ever considered legally changing your name to something
other than "andrew"?
andy: have you ever considered GOING TO HELL!?!?
--
amy: ymj
amy: (just throwing that out there. gotta keep you on your toes.)
andy: only fair, since i kept your mom on her toes last night.
andy: ZING
amy: yeah, i was waiting for that.
andy: so was she.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/10/tocktober-icy-c.html
amy: BEAR ASS
andy: jesus.
andy: that's something i don't need to see again.
--
andy: http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20071012/sc_livescience/forecastsexandmarriagewithrobotsby2050
amy: yeahhh, i saw that. those netherlands kids are craaaazy.
andy: crazy like a robot-fucking fox.
amy: but hey, i guess there's some reassurance in knowing the robot
won't break your heart.
amy: well, unless you want it to.
amy: with its fists.
andy: people already have sex with robots all the time.
andy: nobody wants to marry a vibrator.
--
andy: (andy has left the building. please leave a message.)
Monday, October 1, 2007
(after i made my first YMJ after my return to the office)
andy: i knew i was missing something.
andy: welcome back.
--
andy: so, you're going to the baseball game, right?
amy: ...
amy: will your mom be there?
andy: a;sfjas;df
amy: come on, you can come up with a witty retort!
amy: you can do it!
amy: i believe in you!
andy: now you're just being mean.
--
andy: yalp.com
andy: i haven't gone yet.
andy: porn or not porn?
andy: cast your vote.
--
amy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simply_Irresistible
amy: i mean, seriously? an "enchanted crab"?
amy: that sounds like something you catch after a one night stand with a fairy godmother. not something that makes you a "superb food witch"
andy: movies that do not feature a super-hero created by a nuclear accident or a wise-cracking ghost with a secret are automatically suspect.
--
(after discussing this)
amy: oh well
amy: sexism goes on.
andy: and it will go on until we get robots to review products.
andy: sexy shiny review robots.
amy: do i need to give you a moment alone with the review robots?
andy: ... no
andy: sadly
--
andy: are you "loving" your pet to death?
andy: CNN headlines rule.
--
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/09/26/nerd.auction.ap/index.html
amy: i've seen craigslist ads like this
andy: yeah, that's just what i was thinking.
amy: except they usually end with sexual favors
andy: yup, that's the one.
--
andy: "customers who bough items like this also bought ..."
andy: how many pairs of rainboots does one human need?
amy: you need to accessorize!
amy: it's easier if you've just got multiple sets of galoshes
amy: yes, this is how women think.
andy: all of them.
amy: even some men.
amy: it's an overwhelming consciousness
amy: submit to it, mr. i-have-two-bikes
amy: or else you will be assimilated into the borg collective by force
andy: ok, first off, my bikes don't match my clothes. in fact, [coworker]'s opinion aside, my bikes have about 0 style.
andy: second, at some point in this conversation i began to wonder about the correlation between owning multiple pairs of galoshes and wanting a baby in your belly.
andy: i'm thinking they might be positively related in some way, which makes me giggle, because at some point when you have a baby you'll think back on this and want to kick my ass for pointing it out.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2007/09/26/iminyourgardenco.jpg
amy: cuteoverload posted this mantis specifically to highlight his poop.
andy: wow.
andy: go internet.
andy: what i said about cuteoverload and anal fixation stands.
--
(making fun of Vista and the new voice-recognition capability...)
andy: You can say "How do I" followed by a task you want to perform with your computer. For example, "How do I change my desktop background?"
andy: How do I get a better computer?
andy: How do I level up?
amy: "How do I find your mom?"
andy: shit
andy: ambush!
amy: ohhhh snap
andy: i'm not sure i want the computer to do what i tell it to do.
amy: it ruins the surprise?
amy: doesn't windows already not do what you tell it to do?
andy: non-deterministic computing rocks.
amy: "don't phone home"
amy: "don't run IE"
amy: "don't suck"
andy: eh, it just obeys a subset of commands.
andy: "freeze up"
andy: "hog memory"
andy: "take forever to log in"
andy: managed expectations have gotten me this far.
andy: welcome back.
--
andy: so, you're going to the baseball game, right?
amy: ...
amy: will your mom be there?
andy: a;sfjas;df
amy: come on, you can come up with a witty retort!
amy: you can do it!
amy: i believe in you!
andy: now you're just being mean.
--
andy: yalp.com
andy: i haven't gone yet.
andy: porn or not porn?
andy: cast your vote.
--
amy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simply_Irresistible
amy: i mean, seriously? an "enchanted crab"?
amy: that sounds like something you catch after a one night stand with a fairy godmother. not something that makes you a "superb food witch"
andy: movies that do not feature a super-hero created by a nuclear accident or a wise-cracking ghost with a secret are automatically suspect.
--
(after discussing this)
amy: oh well
amy: sexism goes on.
andy: and it will go on until we get robots to review products.
andy: sexy shiny review robots.
amy: do i need to give you a moment alone with the review robots?
andy: ... no
andy: sadly
--
andy: are you "loving" your pet to death?
andy: CNN headlines rule.
--
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/09/26/nerd.auction.ap/index.html
amy: i've seen craigslist ads like this
andy: yeah, that's just what i was thinking.
amy: except they usually end with sexual favors
andy: yup, that's the one.
--
andy: "customers who bough items like this also bought ..."
andy: how many pairs of rainboots does one human need?
amy: you need to accessorize!
amy: it's easier if you've just got multiple sets of galoshes
amy: yes, this is how women think.
andy: all of them.
amy: even some men.
amy: it's an overwhelming consciousness
amy: submit to it, mr. i-have-two-bikes
amy: or else you will be assimilated into the borg collective by force
andy: ok, first off, my bikes don't match my clothes. in fact, [coworker]'s opinion aside, my bikes have about 0 style.
andy: second, at some point in this conversation i began to wonder about the correlation between owning multiple pairs of galoshes and wanting a baby in your belly.
andy: i'm thinking they might be positively related in some way, which makes me giggle, because at some point when you have a baby you'll think back on this and want to kick my ass for pointing it out.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2007/09/26/iminyourgardenco.jpg
amy: cuteoverload posted this mantis specifically to highlight his poop.
andy: wow.
andy: go internet.
andy: what i said about cuteoverload and anal fixation stands.
--
(making fun of Vista and the new voice-recognition capability...)
andy: You can say "How do I" followed by a task you want to perform with your computer. For example, "How do I change my desktop background?"
andy: How do I get a better computer?
andy: How do I level up?
amy: "How do I find your mom?"
andy: shit
andy: ambush!
amy: ohhhh snap
andy: i'm not sure i want the computer to do what i tell it to do.
amy: it ruins the surprise?
amy: doesn't windows already not do what you tell it to do?
andy: non-deterministic computing rocks.
amy: "don't phone home"
amy: "don't run IE"
amy: "don't suck"
andy: eh, it just obeys a subset of commands.
andy: "freeze up"
andy: "hog memory"
andy: "take forever to log in"
andy: managed expectations have gotten me this far.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
...
(Throwing out some old and new ones this week because it's been slow - we're on non-overlapping vacations. Oh, and hella busy. See y'all in two weeks!)
--
andy: ...
amy: heh. it's fun to render you speechless.
andy: that wasn't speechless, that was three little sympathy dots.
--
andy: people spend more money on books about romance than they do on books about people who have dreams that they are having affairs with robots but it turns out that they really are having affairs with robots in a parallel universe and their ultimate fate is to tear down the walls between the universes so that other people can feel the cold steel touch of a robot.
--
amy: i would say, if she sat there through [friend]'s "I want to run naked at burning man" speech (which actually ran a little long) i think she can handle things
amy: yeah. it was a weird, weird few moments
andy: is there a version of that speech that would not have been a little too long?
amy: well, i guess i might have goaded him just a little.
andy: ah
andy: your a real bitch when you want to be.
andy: in the best possible way.
amy: it's "you're"
andy: yeah.
andy: yeah, it is
--
andy: the internet is run by a bunch of semi-feral 15 year old boys.
they are hungry, and they are angry.
--
andy: if wishes were horses . . .
amy: what would the horse's ass be in that analogy?
amy: come to think of it, what would the horse shit be?
--
andy: PLEASE DO (2) NEXT INTERCAL MANUAL ANDY
amy: do what now?
andy: sorry, bad intercal joke.
amy: all i get out of that is "do #2 next to andy."
amy: which i don't think is what you intended
andy: . . .
andy: . . .
amy: this is one of those conversations where it should just end, right?
andy: let's just walk away slowly and hope it doesn't wake up.
amy: hee.
andy: (shhh)
--
andy: sports team. local. how about that.
amy: going to nationals this year, i hear.
andy: yeah, going all the way.
andy: don't.
andy: don't even think about it.
--
andy: ...
amy: heh. it's fun to render you speechless.
andy: that wasn't speechless, that was three little sympathy dots.
--
andy: people spend more money on books about romance than they do on books about people who have dreams that they are having affairs with robots but it turns out that they really are having affairs with robots in a parallel universe and their ultimate fate is to tear down the walls between the universes so that other people can feel the cold steel touch of a robot.
--
amy: i would say, if she sat there through [friend]'s "I want to run naked at burning man" speech (which actually ran a little long) i think she can handle things
amy: yeah. it was a weird, weird few moments
andy: is there a version of that speech that would not have been a little too long?
amy: well, i guess i might have goaded him just a little.
andy: ah
andy: your a real bitch when you want to be.
andy: in the best possible way.
amy: it's "you're"
andy: yeah.
andy: yeah, it is
--
andy: the internet is run by a bunch of semi-feral 15 year old boys.
they are hungry, and they are angry.
--
andy: if wishes were horses . . .
amy: what would the horse's ass be in that analogy?
amy: come to think of it, what would the horse shit be?
--
andy: PLEASE DO (2) NEXT INTERCAL MANUAL ANDY
amy: do what now?
andy: sorry, bad intercal joke.
amy: all i get out of that is "do #2 next to andy."
amy: which i don't think is what you intended
andy: . . .
andy: . . .
amy: this is one of those conversations where it should just end, right?
andy: let's just walk away slowly and hope it doesn't wake up.
amy: hee.
andy: (shhh)
--
andy: sports team. local. how about that.
amy: going to nationals this year, i hear.
andy: yeah, going all the way.
andy: don't.
andy: don't even think about it.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
on this week's episode...
amy: i frequently feel a need to punch someone in the face.
amy: well, that, or relax.
andy: face punching yoga?
amy: i feel like you're on to something there.
andy: If they can do hot yoga, why not hot painful yoga?
amy: ...i did hot, painful yoga with your mom last night.
andy: that's funny, because i punched your mom in the face last night.
--
oh CNN...
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/08/22/kids.domains.ap/index.html
amy: ok, seriously? wtf?
andy: yeah, i've heard about that.
andy: but i don't think enough people do that to warrant an article.
andy: i mean, they might as well right about people who wipe their
asses with their non-dominant hand.
andy: sure, it happens, but nobody cares.
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/09/04/dating.mating.ap/index.html
amy: next up, "THE SKY IS BLUE!"
andy: they ran that one yesterday.
andy: it was pretty well researched.
andy: they even had some quotes from NQB, a group of brits who say
that the sky is actually "Not Quite Blue"
andy: you know, for balance.
amy: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1659611,00.html?cnn=yes
amy: CNN apparently rubs off on others.
amy: "Babies vs. Chimps: Who's Smarter"
andy: fuck smarter. which one is tastier?
--
andy: engineers and sales people are generally socially retarded in
different ways.
--
oh cory...
amy: yeah...how about that foreign tennis player.
andy: he's dreamy
amy: you know who is really dreamy?
amy: Cory Doctorow.
andy: your mom.
andy: cory doctorow is your mom.
andy: there, i said it.
--
andy: so the [issue that I was whining about at the time] could be a deflecting device?
(10:00:19) andy: shields up! battlestations!
(10:00:20) amy: a personal shield device a la star trek would be a
deflecting device
amy: it's scary that we both went to the same place with that.
andy: dork and dorker.
--
amy: what would you do for a klondike bar?
andy: would you kill a man for a klondike bar?
amy: well, depends on what time of the month it is...
(pause)
andy: is there a response to this that doesn't get me fired?
amy: well, that, or relax.
andy: face punching yoga?
amy: i feel like you're on to something there.
andy: If they can do hot yoga, why not hot painful yoga?
amy: ...i did hot, painful yoga with your mom last night.
andy: that's funny, because i punched your mom in the face last night.
--
oh CNN...
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/08/22/kids.domains.ap/index.html
amy: ok, seriously? wtf?
andy: yeah, i've heard about that.
andy: but i don't think enough people do that to warrant an article.
andy: i mean, they might as well right about people who wipe their
asses with their non-dominant hand.
andy: sure, it happens, but nobody cares.
amy: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/09/04/dating.mating.ap/index.html
amy: next up, "THE SKY IS BLUE!"
andy: they ran that one yesterday.
andy: it was pretty well researched.
andy: they even had some quotes from NQB, a group of brits who say
that the sky is actually "Not Quite Blue"
andy: you know, for balance.
amy: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1659611,00.html?cnn=yes
amy: CNN apparently rubs off on others.
amy: "Babies vs. Chimps: Who's Smarter"
andy: fuck smarter. which one is tastier?
--
andy: engineers and sales people are generally socially retarded in
different ways.
--
oh cory...
amy: yeah...how about that foreign tennis player.
andy: he's dreamy
amy: you know who is really dreamy?
amy: Cory Doctorow.
andy: your mom.
andy: cory doctorow is your mom.
andy: there, i said it.
--
andy: so the [issue that I was whining about at the time] could be a deflecting device?
(10:00:19) andy: shields up! battlestations!
(10:00:20) amy: a personal shield device a la star trek would be a
deflecting device
amy: it's scary that we both went to the same place with that.
andy: dork and dorker.
--
amy: what would you do for a klondike bar?
andy: would you kill a man for a klondike bar?
amy: well, depends on what time of the month it is...
(pause)
andy: is there a response to this that doesn't get me fired?
Thursday, August 23, 2007
(trust me, we actually <3 firefox. well, at least more than we love ie.)
andy: you know which version of firefox i like best?
andy: the one that doesn't crash every day.
amy: i like the one that doesn't hog memory and make me wait 5
minutes for my computer to come out of standby mode
andy: that one is pretty cool, too
amy: i also like the one that pops out puppies and rainbows at every
opportunity. though plays hell with my CPU time.
andy: yeah, i hear the new intel processors have a "generate_puppy"
operand. it takes like 20 cycles to run, though.
--
amy: admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
andy: which step is insulting the bouncer and waking up in a pile of
your own blood and vomit, next to a pile of someone elses?
amy: the part where you join fight club.
--
amy: wow, this is mindbendingly meta:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/20/people.paltrow.ap/index.html
andy: yeah, that was strange.
andy: i wonder what she thinks about the article.
amy: clearly CNN needs to report on that, too.
andy: if they don't, they suck.
andy: more
--
(when coworker raised a fuss about how hot it was in our development cave)
amy: [coworker] is such a mr. crankypants today
andy: maybe if he was crankyshorts he wouldn't be so crazy.
andy: i sent him this:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whambulance
amy: you can't see it, but right now i am giving you an internal 2 thumbs up.
amy: oh, and an external one, too
--
andy: do i really need a "pretty" version i can print out.
amy: yes.
amy: yes you do.
amy: YMJ
andy: hm . . . not seeing it yet . . . staring harder . . .
amy: do you remember the part where my jokes don't make any sense?
amy: just because i use your "your mom joke" shorthand doesn't mean they'll make any more sense.
andy: there are varying levels of "doesn't make sense"
amy: i was referring to printing out a pretty version of your mom in PDF form
amy: GEEZ, get with the game, dude!
(pause)
amy: please don't throw anything at me.
andy: the one that doesn't crash every day.
amy: i like the one that doesn't hog memory and make me wait 5
minutes for my computer to come out of standby mode
andy: that one is pretty cool, too
amy: i also like the one that pops out puppies and rainbows at every
opportunity. though plays hell with my CPU time.
andy: yeah, i hear the new intel processors have a "generate_puppy"
operand. it takes like 20 cycles to run, though.
--
amy: admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
andy: which step is insulting the bouncer and waking up in a pile of
your own blood and vomit, next to a pile of someone elses?
amy: the part where you join fight club.
--
amy: wow, this is mindbendingly meta:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/20/people.paltrow.ap/index.html
andy: yeah, that was strange.
andy: i wonder what she thinks about the article.
amy: clearly CNN needs to report on that, too.
andy: if they don't, they suck.
andy: more
--
(when coworker raised a fuss about how hot it was in our development cave)
amy: [coworker] is such a mr. crankypants today
andy: maybe if he was crankyshorts he wouldn't be so crazy.
andy: i sent him this:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whambulance
amy: you can't see it, but right now i am giving you an internal 2 thumbs up.
amy: oh, and an external one, too
--
andy: do i really need a "pretty" version i can print out.
amy: yes.
amy: yes you do.
amy: YMJ
andy: hm . . . not seeing it yet . . . staring harder . . .
amy: do you remember the part where my jokes don't make any sense?
amy: just because i use your "your mom joke" shorthand doesn't mean they'll make any more sense.
andy: there are varying levels of "doesn't make sense"
amy: i was referring to printing out a pretty version of your mom in PDF form
amy: GEEZ, get with the game, dude!
(pause)
amy: please don't throw anything at me.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
royal rainbox!
andy: nobody seems happy today.
andy: we need a royal rainbox.
andy: bow.
andy: i meant bow.
andy: i'm not advocating putting anybody in a box.
andy: and i'm certainly not advocating throwing the box off a bridge.
andy: that would be murder.
--
(how lolcats have ruined america)
andy: oh god, i eated the salty ones.
amy: oh noes!
--
(when complaining about the increased traffic due to a new fancypants gym nearby)
andy: it's funny how people are always driving to the gym.
andy: I feel like there should be a remedy for this...
amy: car pooling to the gym?
andy: screw you.
--
(after discovering oscar the death cat has a canine counterpart)
amy: i wonder what happens when death dog and death cat rumble?
amy: the apocalypse?
andy: MASSIVE CNN BREAKING NEWS!!!
--
andy: i knew well enough to stay the hell away from any link
that is labled as "disturbing" by a furry.
amy: clearly i have not learned my lesson
amy: it's pretty interesting
amy: i encourage you to, um, step into this guy's world of BATFUCK CRAZY
--
andy: that tea you gave me is pretty smooth, until the last sip, where
it's all, "so you think you're tough, eh tea boy?
--
(about Mario Kart Double Dash)
andy: that game is the devil's work.
andy: all those hot video game characters with their legs wrapped
around each other, driving in their cars, doing god-knows what.
--
andy: take the day off, have some fun.
andy: go do whatever the kids do these days.
andy: with their crazy disco and rocket ships and killer robots
andy: we need a royal rainbox.
andy: bow.
andy: i meant bow.
andy: i'm not advocating putting anybody in a box.
andy: and i'm certainly not advocating throwing the box off a bridge.
andy: that would be murder.
--
(how lolcats have ruined america)
andy: oh god, i eated the salty ones.
amy: oh noes!
--
(when complaining about the increased traffic due to a new fancypants gym nearby)
andy: it's funny how people are always driving to the gym.
andy: I feel like there should be a remedy for this...
amy: car pooling to the gym?
andy: screw you.
--
(after discovering oscar the death cat has a canine counterpart)
amy: i wonder what happens when death dog and death cat rumble?
amy: the apocalypse?
andy: MASSIVE CNN BREAKING NEWS!!!
--
andy: i knew well enough to stay the hell away from any link
that is labled as "disturbing" by a furry.
amy: clearly i have not learned my lesson
amy: it's pretty interesting
amy: i encourage you to, um, step into this guy's world of BATFUCK CRAZY
--
andy: that tea you gave me is pretty smooth, until the last sip, where
it's all, "so you think you're tough, eh tea boy?
--
(about Mario Kart Double Dash)
andy: that game is the devil's work.
andy: all those hot video game characters with their legs wrapped
around each other, driving in their cars, doing god-knows what.
--
andy: take the day off, have some fun.
andy: go do whatever the kids do these days.
andy: with their crazy disco and rocket ships and killer robots
Sunday, August 12, 2007
"your IMs are like that death cat."
andy: your IMs are like that death cat. if you get an IM from amy, you are about to die.
amy: well, that's my cheerful thought for the week
--
andy: trust me, i know exactly how funny i am.
andy: to ten decimal places.
--
(when i asked what one of our coworkers does)
andy: imagine [our company] as some sort of large sea-dwelling mammal.
andy: and imagine cash being stored in some sort of bucket.
andy: [coworker] makes sure that we always has a bucket.
andy: and that they not be taking it.
--
amy: i think about how, 50 years from now, there will be old people in retirement homes being all like, "i can has prune juice" and then everyone will laugh and none of the young 'uns will get it
andy: that's a sad, sad thought.
andy: maybe by that time a new age of sincerity will have come about, and people will be ashamed of their lolcat love.
andy: either that or the young people will be so annoyed with us that they will push for mandatory euthanasia
--
(about scottish fold cats)
andy: would it be funny to get one of those cats and put some fake blood on its head, and then walk around with it?
andy: i say, "yes"
amy: well, that's my cheerful thought for the week
--
andy: trust me, i know exactly how funny i am.
andy: to ten decimal places.
--
(when i asked what one of our coworkers does)
andy: imagine [our company] as some sort of large sea-dwelling mammal.
andy: and imagine cash being stored in some sort of bucket.
andy: [coworker] makes sure that we always has a bucket.
andy: and that they not be taking it.
--
amy: i think about how, 50 years from now, there will be old people in retirement homes being all like, "i can has prune juice" and then everyone will laugh and none of the young 'uns will get it
andy: that's a sad, sad thought.
andy: maybe by that time a new age of sincerity will have come about, and people will be ashamed of their lolcat love.
andy: either that or the young people will be so annoyed with us that they will push for mandatory euthanasia
--
(about scottish fold cats)
andy: would it be funny to get one of those cats and put some fake blood on its head, and then walk around with it?
andy: i say, "yes"
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
you can't see it, but...
amy: you can't see it, but right now, i am doing a triumphant victory dance
amy: with your mom
--
andy: i rock old skool.
amy: old skool would be a spork
andy: if you're stabbing yourself in the eye, you aren't going for the"feel good" method.
--
amy: you know, i keep mentioning to [coworker] that when something is broken, that makes me a sad panda.
amy: but come to think of it, i don't think he gets the reference.
amy: and probably thinks i'm just crazy.
andy: all pandas are sad, and he knows it.
andy: what you don't know is that they're all sad because [coworker] is trying to kill them.
andy: he pretends ignorance to shield you from the awful truth.
amy: :-O
--
andy: is there a word for having several extended metaphors going in different IM windows, and losing track?
andy: there should be.
amy: what was that, about your contribution to the english language and kilowords?
andy: well, i'm not going to invent a new word if there's already a perfectly cromulent one.
amy: i'm afraid to think about what your other extended metaphors are.
andy: just remember that i'm a duke in the land of metaphors.
amy: i bet that just gets you laid all the time.
andy: strangely, not as often as one would expect.
--
amy: U LOSE!
andy: i fucking win.
andy: by adding "fucking", it becomes indisputable.
andy: like your mom
amy: i honestly can't argue with that.
andy: i like that sentence. it is fun to parse.
amy: with your mom
--
andy: i rock old skool.
amy: old skool would be a spork
andy: if you're stabbing yourself in the eye, you aren't going for the"feel good" method.
--
amy: you know, i keep mentioning to [coworker] that when something is broken, that makes me a sad panda.
amy: but come to think of it, i don't think he gets the reference.
amy: and probably thinks i'm just crazy.
andy: all pandas are sad, and he knows it.
andy: what you don't know is that they're all sad because [coworker] is trying to kill them.
andy: he pretends ignorance to shield you from the awful truth.
amy: :-O
--
andy: is there a word for having several extended metaphors going in different IM windows, and losing track?
andy: there should be.
amy: what was that, about your contribution to the english language and kilowords?
andy: well, i'm not going to invent a new word if there's already a perfectly cromulent one.
amy: i'm afraid to think about what your other extended metaphors are.
andy: just remember that i'm a duke in the land of metaphors.
amy: i bet that just gets you laid all the time.
andy: strangely, not as often as one would expect.
--
amy: U LOSE!
andy: i fucking win.
andy: by adding "fucking", it becomes indisputable.
andy: like your mom
amy: i honestly can't argue with that.
andy: i like that sentence. it is fun to parse.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
"Good fortune has its roots in disaster, and Pinot sales have shot through the gag wrapped over her face."
andy: it's the difference between "oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh" and "WOO WOO"
--
amy: http://foryourentertainment.blogspot.com/2007/07/oh-my.html
andy: it's always good to have a preview of your nightmares, just so you know what to expect ahead of time
--
about: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/seriously-hungr.html
andy: he's young
andy: he's had a short life
amy: who?
andy: [coworker]. he said it was the best video he had ever seen in his life.
amy: oh
amy: he obviously hasn't seen thriller.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/son-those-are-s.html
amy: this just doesn't look...right
andy: the cute overload anal fixation must end!
--
amy: [quoting coworker] "nice catch, all fix now! kthxbuy"
amy: i kind of want to point out that's not how you spell "bai"
andy: stop judging. lolcat just wants to love.
--
andy: sinsnarky.
andy: my contributions to the english language will be measured in kilowords.
amy: yes. yes they will.
--
amy: wow, the paris version of the haunted mansion has _much_ better music than the US one
andy: paris hilton has a haunted mansion?
amy: she can fit a lot in there...
andy: i was wondering where you would go with that.
amy: i meant her purse.
andy: so did i.
--
amy: i'm sure his inner hipster will weep.
andy: so will the outer hipster.
--
amy: http://foryourentertainment.blogspot.com/2007/07/oh-my.html
andy: it's always good to have a preview of your nightmares, just so you know what to expect ahead of time
--
about: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/seriously-hungr.html
andy: he's young
andy: he's had a short life
amy: who?
andy: [coworker]. he said it was the best video he had ever seen in his life.
amy: oh
amy: he obviously hasn't seen thriller.
--
amy: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/07/son-those-are-s.html
amy: this just doesn't look...right
andy: the cute overload anal fixation must end!
--
amy: [quoting coworker] "nice catch, all fix now! kthxbuy"
amy: i kind of want to point out that's not how you spell "bai"
andy: stop judging. lolcat just wants to love.
--
andy: sinsnarky.
andy: my contributions to the english language will be measured in kilowords.
amy: yes. yes they will.
--
amy: wow, the paris version of the haunted mansion has _much_ better music than the US one
andy: paris hilton has a haunted mansion?
amy: she can fit a lot in there...
andy: i was wondering where you would go with that.
amy: i meant her purse.
andy: so did i.
--
amy: i'm sure his inner hipster will weep.
andy: so will the outer hipster.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
you s'posed to be up cookin' breakfast or somethin'
amy: it's like an alarm clock!
andy: wooowooo
--
andy: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=37209062
andy: this requires headphones
andy: or not.
andy: no, you want to hear it.
andy: you really do.
amy: um
amy: kind of catchy?
andy: it's got a good beat, and i can dance to it.
andy: WHILE DRESSED LIKE A WOLF.
amy: oh god, the singing just started
andy: oh
andy: yeah, that's where it gets good.
amy: you win.
--
amy: i've been looking up php string comparators, and i keep seeing "preg_match" and "preg_quote" etc. and going "whoah!"
andy: yeah, php gets around and doesn't wear a rubber.
andy: that's why it also has a std_library
--
andy: any solution that fails to incorporate fire is only 75% of a solution.
--
andy: curl -s 'http://www.timecube.com' sed 's/<[^>]*>//g' sed 's/&[^;]*;//g' tr '\n\r' ' ' sed 's/\*\**\*/\n/g' awk '{ printrand(), $0 }' sort -n cut -d " " -f 2- head -n 1
andy: i have created the ultimate script.
amy: umm
amy: good for you.
amy: want a cookie?
--
amy: you have finally mastered the lolcat language!
andy: well, not quite. i can ask where the bathroom is, where to get a burrito, etc.
andy: i can get by.
--
regarding this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/18/BAG9JR2C201.DTL
andy: has anybody lol'd that dog from that article i sent you yesterday?
amy: no
amy: but i think you need to.
amy: "wino dog just want 1$"
andy: "i eated what the horse eated after he eated it"
--
andy: tell you what: every time you text me something, i'll just assume you added "oh snap" to the end of it.
andy: then we can save some bandwidth.
andy: wooowooo
--
andy: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=37209062
andy: this requires headphones
andy: or not.
andy: no, you want to hear it.
andy: you really do.
amy: um
amy: kind of catchy?
andy: it's got a good beat, and i can dance to it.
andy: WHILE DRESSED LIKE A WOLF.
amy: oh god, the singing just started
andy: oh
andy: yeah, that's where it gets good.
amy: you win.
--
amy: i've been looking up php string comparators, and i keep seeing "preg_match" and "preg_quote" etc. and going "whoah!"
andy: yeah, php gets around and doesn't wear a rubber.
andy: that's why it also has a std_library
--
andy: any solution that fails to incorporate fire is only 75% of a solution.
--
andy: curl -s 'http://www.timecube.com' sed 's/<[^>]*>//g' sed 's/&[^;]*;//g' tr '\n\r' ' ' sed 's/\*\**\*/\n/g' awk '{ printrand(), $0 }' sort -n cut -d " " -f 2- head -n 1
andy: i have created the ultimate script.
amy: umm
amy: good for you.
amy: want a cookie?
--
amy: you have finally mastered the lolcat language!
andy: well, not quite. i can ask where the bathroom is, where to get a burrito, etc.
andy: i can get by.
--
regarding this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/18/BAG9JR2C201.DTL
andy: has anybody lol'd that dog from that article i sent you yesterday?
amy: no
amy: but i think you need to.
amy: "wino dog just want 1$"
andy: "i eated what the horse eated after he eated it"
--
andy: tell you what: every time you text me something, i'll just assume you added "oh snap" to the end of it.
andy: then we can save some bandwidth.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
ohhhh snap.
amy: ohhhh snap
andy: do i need to tell you how awesome it looks when you "ohhh snap" yourself over im?
andy: that's why god invented BOLD AND CAPS LOCK
amy: OHHHHH SNAP!!1
amy: better?
andy: i like the fact that you hit the keys extra hard to make that.
amy: i hit your mom extra hard last night.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/07/03/u-think-we-share-2-much/
andy: now that's funny.
amy: every time a lolcat makes someone laugh, an angel gets its wings
amy: on the flip side of that coin, every time a lolcat fails to make someone laugh, god kills a kitten
amy: frankly, they're in a battle for very cat survival
--
amy: i'm torn between chipotle or "the real man's burrito"
amy: um.
amy: shit.
amy: i meant la bamba.
--
amy: is he actually following?
andy: maybe not, but i'm trying to develop better habits.
andy: like your mom, when she dresses up like a nun.
--
andy: this sounds complicated. i just want to shoot a burrito at [coworker]
amy: burrito gun?
andy: we prefer the term "cannon" in the burrito projectile business.
--
andy: wrt our penguin eating discussion:http://www.sfgate.com/n/pictures/2007/07/10/penguin1.jpg
amy: i hear penguin breast meat is the best. penguin legs are small, and not all that meaty.
andy: like your mom?
andy: sorry, that one was pretty cheap.
andy: like your mom.
amy: first rule of your mom: never apologize!
amy: your mom certainly didn't.
andy: you beat me to it.
andy: like your mom did last night.
andy: this is going to be bad, isn't it?
--
andy: http://www.pliantsoftware.ws/botchallengesetup.asmx?wsdl
andy: should be wsdl, right?
andy: and yet . . .
amy: that certainly explains why the web service tests aren't working.
andy: yep.
amy: yep.
andy: do i need to tell you how awesome it looks when you "ohhh snap" yourself over im?
andy: that's why god invented BOLD AND CAPS LOCK
amy: OHHHHH SNAP!!1
amy: better?
andy: i like the fact that you hit the keys extra hard to make that.
amy: i hit your mom extra hard last night.
--
amy: http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/07/03/u-think-we-share-2-much/
andy: now that's funny.
amy: every time a lolcat makes someone laugh, an angel gets its wings
amy: on the flip side of that coin, every time a lolcat fails to make someone laugh, god kills a kitten
amy: frankly, they're in a battle for very cat survival
--
amy: i'm torn between chipotle or "the real man's burrito"
amy: um.
amy: shit.
amy: i meant la bamba.
--
amy: is he actually following?
andy: maybe not, but i'm trying to develop better habits.
andy: like your mom, when she dresses up like a nun.
--
andy: this sounds complicated. i just want to shoot a burrito at [coworker]
amy: burrito gun?
andy: we prefer the term "cannon" in the burrito projectile business.
--
andy: wrt our penguin eating discussion:http://www.sfgate.com/n/pictures/2007/07/10/penguin1.jpg
amy: i hear penguin breast meat is the best. penguin legs are small, and not all that meaty.
andy: like your mom?
andy: sorry, that one was pretty cheap.
andy: like your mom.
amy: first rule of your mom: never apologize!
amy: your mom certainly didn't.
andy: you beat me to it.
andy: like your mom did last night.
andy: this is going to be bad, isn't it?
--
andy: http://www.pliantsoftware.ws/botchallengesetup.asmx?wsdl
andy: should be wsdl, right?
andy: and yet . . .
amy: that certainly explains why the web service tests aren't working.
andy: yep.
amy: yep.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
it has been an epic battle over...your mom
I would almost regret the challenge I made last week, but it's been hilarious. And now our coworkers are getting in on this hottt action...with his mom...last night...yeah...
(And I'm not gonna lie: he's winning. He even went so far as to temporarily disable a machine I was working with and rewrite the startup scripts to spit out "I restarted your mom last night." That made my week, right there. And, apparently, my mom's, as well.)
--
amy: it's like taunting monkeys
amy: except i don't get feces thrown at me
(pause)
amy: (unlike your mom, last night)
andy: blah
andy: it's like some sort of duel, where we're both eyeing eachother, wondering if the other person is going to go.
--
andy: hey do you know anything about this file i found on my computer?
andy: public_html/your_mom.html
amy: um, i might have put that there?
andy: yeah, well, it looks like the permissions are set up so that everybody can read/write/execute.
--
andy: this can only end in a race to the bottom, you know.
andy: i'm just making sure you know, before i put on my lead boots.
andy: because once i put those things on, it's tough to get them off.
andy: kind of like your mom.
--
andy: http://mparent7777-2.blogspot.com/2007/07/dick-john-cheney-on-her-list-too.html
andy: my questions are:
andy: 1. what kind of inhuman soul would be capable of sex with dick cheney?
andy: 2. what did he and your mom talk about afterwards?
amy:
1. may god have mercy on their souls
2. the previous night, which they'd both spent with your mom.
andy: not bad, not bad.
--
andy: void yourMom(){
while(1) {
// do nothing in this loop, 'cause your mom is dumb
}
}
amy: lastNight(cons me your_mom)
--
(And I'm not gonna lie: he's winning. He even went so far as to temporarily disable a machine I was working with and rewrite the startup scripts to spit out "I restarted your mom last night." That made my week, right there. And, apparently, my mom's, as well.)
--
amy: it's like taunting monkeys
amy: except i don't get feces thrown at me
(pause)
amy: (unlike your mom, last night)
andy: blah
andy: it's like some sort of duel, where we're both eyeing eachother, wondering if the other person is going to go.
--
andy: hey do you know anything about this file i found on my computer?
andy: public_html/your_mom.html
amy: um, i might have put that there?
andy: yeah, well, it looks like the permissions are set up so that everybody can read/write/execute.
--
andy: this can only end in a race to the bottom, you know.
andy: i'm just making sure you know, before i put on my lead boots.
andy: because once i put those things on, it's tough to get them off.
andy: kind of like your mom.
--
andy: http://mparent7777-2.blogspot.com/2007/07/dick-john-cheney-on-her-list-too.html
andy: my questions are:
andy: 1. what kind of inhuman soul would be capable of sex with dick cheney?
andy: 2. what did he and your mom talk about afterwards?
amy:
1. may god have mercy on their souls
2. the previous night, which they'd both spent with your mom.
andy: not bad, not bad.
--
andy: void yourMom(){
while(1) {
// do nothing in this loop, 'cause your mom is dumb
}
}
amy: lastNight(cons me your_mom)
--
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